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Master Looter  Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009     | |
Master Looter  Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009     | "Sooooo...are we killing shit now?" asked D Link "Isn't it obvious that we're fighting the villains?" said Ram, crushing the Blood Asp mech "Oh, right." said D Link "By the way, why are you being referred to as D Link?" asked Ram "Oh, that. Xandus117 decided that he was tired of typing my full name, so he shorten it to D Link." "I guess that makes sense." said Ram Suddenly, Ram was knocked aside by the Blood Asps arms. The mech rose up, and aimed it's dark energy cannons at D Link., who pulled out his wind crystal. "FARORE'S WI...!" The crystal glowed brightly. It let out a flash of green light and slowly merged itself with D Link's hand. "What the hell was that?" said D Link D Link looked up and saw the Blood Asp fire it's dark energy cannons. As the energy blast was about to hit D Link, he disappeared in a green flash and appeared behind the mech. The mech turned around and fired it's machine gun at D Link, who disappeared once more and appeared on the mech's right side. "Hey, I can use my teleporting ability without my crystal. Awesome!" The mech fired another blast of dark energy at D Link, who vanished and reappeared on top of the mech. D Link's sword turned into a flaming claymore, which he stabbed into the mech's cannon. D Link vanished and appeared at the Blood Asp's feet. "This is freakin' awesome." said D Link "I wonder if I can do this with the other crystals." |
Master Looter  Posts: 2596 Joined: 29 Jul 2009   | "Uh, I'm pretty sure i shortened D. Link's name first!" Phil says, narrowly dodging hits from another Blood Asp mech. Its fists punctured the ground. As it attempted to get it's hands out the ground, Phil ran up it's arms, turning his H.a.L.O into a scythe. As he reached the top of the mech, he jumped, and dug the scythe into the mech's back, sliding down it, and splitting it in half. "Damn, this is getting too easy." Phil said. As he turned around to face the broken mech, his face turned to shock. The mech started to recuperate! "You ain't pullin' that same move twice!" Phil says, pointing his glowing hand towards the mech. "Shining Finger!"The blast completely obliterates the mech. Phil takes a seat, panting hard. "Wow, so much déjà vu" Phil says, in between breaths. |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "Scuse me, but I believe it were my laziness that shortened the name to D Link!" Ram cried, sending a shock wave through one of the mechs while ramming another. |
Power Leveler  Posts: 4606 Joined: 12 Feb 2009    | Deep below the ground stood a large castle. Inside the main hall of said castle was a large army with there leader at the front podium. "Today my comrades is the day we strike back! Today is the day we take back the above ground! The land that was taken from our people by the Humans!" Said there armies leader standing in front of the Army. The Army raised there firearms and chanted there battle cry "OHRAH OHRAH ORAHHHH!!!" "My brothers! Go forth and take back the world that is rightfully ours! For you're families! For you're Brothers! FOR THE MOTHERGROUND!" The soliders marched out of the castles and into specilaized pods that launched them to the surface. BACK AT THE BATTLEZONE! The battle rage'd on as the Heroes and Villans fired magic attacks and bullets at one another. Ram smashed his electircal attack Maddawg's Mech and sent it into Crictical overload. "SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Said Maddawg opening the hatch and diving out seconds before the Mech was destroyed. Suddenly, the ground began to shake and pods broke the surface. The doors to the pods opened up slowly and smoke slowey "My God." Said Dark Link as the soliders stepped out. Phil just stared with a puzzling on his face and said "What the hell? Communist Groundhogs?" |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "IN COMMUNIST UNDERGROUND, GROUNDHOG KILL YOU!" yelled one of the cute little critters, letting several adorable bullets shot out from his precious AK-47. "D'AWWW! Their so cute!" Samii cried, grabbing a couple dozen in a massive cow-hug. "Can't...breath...or....formulate....consistent....sentence!" "Yeah, their so cute and cuddly, it's DEADLY!" Ram cried, trying to dodge the mini-bringers of death. "Ram, no one needs to hear a terrible joke from you. Besides, look at them!" Samii said, hugging the little critters even tighter. "Their so cute and fluffy and soft and cheeky and small and adorable and OH DAMN I KILLED THEM!" |
Master Looter  Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009     | Suddenly, Electro lightning teleported behind Dark and Round House kicked the massive dragon on top of the barn, which on que, exploded, knocking Dark into the air, where Xandus leapt into, and head butted him back to earth, on top of our heroes. "Well, were fucked....again!!!" Yelled Yahtzee, who was burning up again, under dark, as the communist ground hogs and villains aimed their weapon at the heads of our heroes. "FOR COMMUNISM!!!" Shouted the ground hogs, before, out of no where, let another being crashed into the ground, causing a small dust storm. "DAMN IT!!! WHY DOES AMERICAN SOIL BURN SO!?" Yelled Yahtzee, frying some more. "DID SOMEONE SAY COMMUNISM!?" Asked the one who had landed, as the dust cleared. "BY LENNIS COMMUNIST MAN-O-FISTO BOXING GLOVES!!! ITS THE DESTOYER!!! COMMIE BUSTER!!!: YELLED THE GROUND HOGS, LOOKING UPON COMMIE BUSTER, WHO LOOKS LIKED THE STATEMAN FROM CITY OF HEROES...
but with Jax's mechanical arms...
"TAKE THIS YOU COMMIE'S!!!" YELLED COMMIE BUSTER, BEFORE THROWING A MASSIVE BOULDER TOWARDS THE GROUND HOGS. |
Master Looter Posts: 2596 Joined: 29 Jul 2009 | Geez, could you turn off the caps lock please?" Phil said, rubbing is ears from the loud The boulder lands amidst the commie gophers, but only took out but a small few. As the dust cleared, a larger gopher with a russian hat stood in front of his troops. He unsheathed his cute little sword. "FOR THE MOTHERGROUND!!!" He squeaked. The gophers charged with their cute little feet towards the heroes, but all the heroes could do was coo at the cute little soldiers. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Maybe all you Nazi faggots can do is is coo at those cute little soldiers, but Commie Buster is all American! Meaning, I have a shitload of guns, and love to shoot small animals!" Yelled Commie Buster, pulling out a mini gun with one hand, an uzi with another, and a .44 calibur magnum with his teeth. Suddenly, the gophers stopped. "Shit shit! Run for your cute little adorable lives!" Yelled the larger gopher with the russian hat, leading the retreat back to Gopher Land. "Wow! You did'nt even have to fire and they were scraed shitless!" Said Phil. "Hell, even if they werent, I could'nt fire anyways. "What do you mean?" Asked Phil. "Let me show you." Said Commie buster, aiming his weapons towards Phil and the other heroes pinned beneath Dark. "No, dude! No!" Yelled Phil, looking closing his eyes, expecting to be shot in the face, and surprised as hell when all he heard was a fake bang, and saw that from each of the barrels of what he thought were real guns had flags jutting up from inside them and said:"BANG!" "The fuck?" Asked Phil. "Another trait about all Americans is their ability to threaten people without having any actually backing and still get the desired result." Said Commie, Buster, using his robotic arms to pull Phil from beneath Dark. |
Power Leveler  Posts: 4510 Joined: 3 Jun 2009   | Sho looked at the fight he had yet to jump in to and pressed a button he had in his pocket and a large crate appeared out of nowhere. FOIL |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Eat fist Zombies!" Yelled Commie Buster, using his mechanical arms and enhanced strength to smash the zombies around, dead flesh and limbs flying everywhere from every zombie he hit. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | "Okay, what the hell is going on?" said Death "First communist gophers and now zombies? What's going on?" "I don't know, but this sure looks like a good time to introduce a character that Xandus117 has been foreshadowing in his last couple of posts." said D Link D Link looked around. Nothing happened. "I said 'This sure looks like a good time to introduce a character that Xandus117 has been foreshadowing in his last couple of posts!'" D Link yelled to the heavens "Alright, alright." said Xandus117 "Just wait a damn second, I'm still typing." Suddenly, a volley of arrows came flying towards the zombies. The arrows pierced the zombies' heads and killed them. "What the hell just happened?" asked Phil The heroes turned around and saw a boy in the distance, walking towards them. The boy was wearing green clothes. He had a sheathed sword in his belt and a shield in his hands. "Who is that?" asked Ram "Who am I?" said the boy "You can call me Link." D Link walked up to Link. "Finally! it's about time you showed up!" said D Link "I mean seriously, I've been waiting for hours for you to..." Link pulled out his sword and stabbed D Link in the ribs. "GAH!" yelled D Link, pulling the sword out of his body "DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" "Oh, don't whine. You deserve that after what you did, you bastard." said Link Link turned and saw the heroes and villains. "Who the hell are you people?" asked Link |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Look out below!" Yelled Electro, falling down towards dark in a pile driver move. "Shit! Help us out of here!" Yelled Ram and the other heroes still beneath dark. "I got it!" Yelled Link pulling down out before Electro slammed into Dark. |
Master Looter  Posts: 1225 Joined: 14 Jul 2009    | "Uhm..." Livingness said, holding Grimm by the head while Death repeatedly kicked him in the back. "Since when can Link talk?" |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Bitch! I've always been able to talk! I just did'nt have notin to say!" Yelled Link, jabbing death in the gut. MEANWHILE, XANDUS AND ELECTRO WERE STILL FIGHTING DARK He striked with the Soul Edge, with much of his might, but as soon as the blade knicked Dark, he became intangible, and Xandus fell down as Dark got up. "Fool! So long as I am in control of the shadows, I cannot die!" Yelled Dark, before grabbing Xandus and throwing him high into the air, and activating his orbital laser, which knocked Xandus back down to earth. "That lasers a bitch...." Said Xandus, getting out from the molten crater he was in. "Not anymore!" Yelled Electro, sending several lightning blasts into space, blowing the orbital laser up in a brilliant explosion of orange-red. MEANWHILE, THE OTHER VILLAINS WERE FIGHTING THE HEROES SEVERAL MILES EAST. "Quit trying to hump me Micheal Jackson!" Yelled Phil, who was now at the bottom of a zombie dog pile and weakened from using shining finger to often, getting humped by zombie Micheal Jackson. "Bitch! This is Thrilla! Thrilla!" Yelled Micheal Jackson trying to hump Phil. "Andy, help me!" Yelled Dark link, getting his ass beat by Link, to andy, who had previously been knocked out by an acidental lightning blast from Ram. "Ha! My fists are like hot knives to the butter that is the bodys of these zombies Ey lazor?" Asked Rag. "Yep. And my lazors cutt throug the body of these zombies like a laser through butter!" Yelled lazor, lazoring everal zombies infront of him in half. "I dont know what the fuck you are Ram, but your getting on my nerves! So hold still!" Shouted Maddawg, trying to chain saw staff Ram, who kept dodging and avoiding his strikes. "Take it bitch!" Yelled Samii, beating up Grimm with her 12 foot wopen stick who was now on the ground, in a pool of blood and excrement. "Help me!" Shouted Vrex, who was getting swarmed by witches to Orgazmo. "Cant you see I'm banging this bitch witch bitch!?" Yelled Orgazmo, banging a witch. "I may be smoking hot, both literally and metaphorically, but I can still electrocute you, you overly used internet memes!" Yelled Yahtzee, shocking some obese zombies. "Help us, Help us!" Yelled Popo the ape as he, David the shark, and George of the Jungle were atop an oak tree, surrounded by a crowd of undead. "YAHOO TM!!!" Yelled Both livingness and death as living drove a military humvee through crowds of zombies, and as death fired hundreds of bullets into more zombies. "You best stop these Zombies before I cave your head in with my arms!" Yelled Commie Buster, after shotgun blasting several zombies, several inches infront of Sho. "Fuck you!" Yelled Sho, before using his sonic screech attack to knock Commie Buster into a pit of zombies. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | "...what the hell is going on here?" said Link "Yeah, I really don't understand either." said D Link "We were fighting communist gophers, but then some zombies showed up." "Does this happen all the time?" asked Link "Oh yeah." said D Link "In fact, this is pretty mild compared to what we usually do. By the way, what are you doing here?" "You asked me to come over." said Link "You said something about raiding Xandus' Black Citadel." "Yeah, we kinda dropped that idea so we can go back to killing each other. " "So who are we killing?" asked Link "I really don't know." said D Link "I was fighting the villains, until..." "Wait, aren't you suppose to be a villain?" "I was. I switched sides to the heroes." said D Link "Really?" "Yeah, but I do plan on killing them and looting their corpses when they go to sleep." |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Huuhhhhhh.... then I hope you dont mind if I kill you a loot your corpse!" Yelled Link, before he began to beat Dark Link's ass again. "Help us! Help us!" Yelled David and Popo, as the the zombies begann climbing up the tree they were on top of. "Dont worry assholes, I'll save you!" Yelled Death, attacking the zombies around David, Popo, and George with the humvees turret. "HEE HEE!" Yelled Micheal Jackson, having just been launched into the air by a radial blast of light by Phil, along with all the other zombies surrounding Phil. "Ramy Poo! Nooooo!!!!" Yelled Samii, watching in horror as Maddawg pulled out a shotgun, and aimed it towards ram. "Dont worry Ram, me and lazor are coming!" Yelled Rag in slow motion, as he and lazor lunged towards Maddawg, who was about to shotgun blast ram in the face. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | "Dude, cut it out!" yelled D Link, as Link tried to stab him with the Master Sword "I need you're help!" "Help? With what?" asked Link "You may not have noticed, but we are currently having a battle between heroes and villains." said D Link Andy came down to D Link, who climbed onto the dragon. "Whoa! Since when do you have a dragon?" said Link "Oh, you Andy?" said D Link "I adopted him after killing his mother. Also, it turns out that I'm a dragon rider." "You? A dragon rider?" said Link "That's bullshit." "It's true. I got all these cool powers too. Here, let me show you." D Link teleported behind Link. "Awesome, isn't it?" "Meh." said Link "It's an okay power." "You're just jealous cause you don't have any badass powers." said D Link "I do to have powers!" "Oh really?" said D Link "Like what?" Link pulled out a metal shard. He pushed it into his head, and transformed into a wolf. "So you can turn into a wolf?" said D Link "That has got to be the useless power ev..." Suddenly, Wolf Link lunged out at the zombies. He killed every single one in seconds, then turned back into a human. "Okay, that was pretty cool." |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Damn! In all my 60 years of kick assery, I've never seen an elf turn into a wolf and munch on a bunch of zombies." Said Commie Buster, climbing out of the pit he was knocked in to."Ya'll cook's alright?" Asked Commie Buster to the heroes. "Yep! We have this freaky alien/insectoid/ape/mole thing subdued." Said Rag, his right boot ontop of Maddawgs head, madddawgs shotgun and chainsaw staff broken into bits. "Micheal Jackson tryed to rape me, but I literally showed him the light." Said Phil. "I just barely managed to get my plasma sword up in time to slice those witches in half." Said Vrex. "I managed to keep my pork sword up all the way during my sexual encounter with a witch,in which, I literally broke her in two." Said Orgazmo, putting his jump suit back on. "I beat a guy up until he layed bleeding in a pool of his own blood, spit, piss, and shit!" Yelled Samii. "We saved a bunch of useless characters who Emmy is probabley going to kill off because 1)He's bored with them, and or 2) It doesnt look like their creators will be back soon." Said Death, pointing to Popo, David, and George of the Jungle. "I like pie!" Yelled Lazor, standing over the unconscious body of master kitty, who suit was broken and melted off in several places. "I hate the Australian government!" Said Yahtzee. "Good, that just leaves that good for notin Dirty, smelly, short yellow Comminist Chinese Bastard." Said Commie Buster. Suddenly, Sho teleported infront of Commie Buster and shouted in sonic screech form:"I'M A DIRSTY ,SMELLY, SHORT YELLOW JAP CAPITALIST BASTARD YOU RIGHT WING HONKEY!", kncoking Commie Buster along with the heroes and defeated villians back several thousand feet. |
Master Looter Posts: 1225 Joined: 14 Jul 2009 | As our heroes were flying through the air, Livingness formulated a plan. He grabbed Grimm and positioned him in a position so that, when they landed, Livingness wouldn't be crushed on the ground. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!" Yelled Orgazmo before colliding, face first, along with the other protaginists still in the air, into Daveville,Iowa Town Hall (the town where the farm everyone was fighting on is located,which was having a "Town Hall meeting) and onto the crowd of right wing Republican assholes shouting:"HEAR OUR VOICE! HEAR OUR VOICE!", killing most of them. "You alright horibbly useless characters who's creator was to fucking lazy to post more than 2 times in this RP?" Asked Yahtzee, lying on some hill billies with guns to David and Popo, before Samii landed on them, and killed them. "LOOK OUT BELOW!" Yelled Phil, before crashing on top of the Mayors podium, almost killing him. "Well, looks like everyone important landed more or less safe-GEORGE! WATCH OUT FOR THAT-" Said Ram, on top of the dead and crushed bodies of Rush Limba and a KKK member, to George. "LIVE A LIFE THATS FREE!" Yelled Geroge, before slamming face first into Glen Beck's face.
Glen's thick skull killing George the instant he slammed into it, Georges body bouncing off it, and onto the ground. "-Asshole.." Finished Ram. "I heard that!" Yelled Glen. |
Master Looter Posts: 1225 Joined: 14 Jul 2009 | "Rag, we'll fly to England!" the still-airbourne Death declared to Rag, who was sensibly using his wings. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "I'M A GONNA KILL YOU FOR KILLING ALL THESE TRUE, RIGHT WING AMERICANS!" YELLED GLEN BECK, HIS EYES GLOWING RED WITH CONSERVATIVE ENERGY. "LOOK OUT! DEATH IS ON HIS WAY!" Yelled Death, before landing on Glen, bouncing off, and landing on some pacemaker prone asshole old guy named Bill O'Reily, bouncing off him, and on top of Maddawg. "Get off me before I rip off your tiny penis and feed it to one of the Berserkers in my harem." Said Maddawg to death. Suddenly, Sho teleported infront of our heroes and said:"If you think my latest Sho of force was fucking titts, then this next one I've prepared will be even tittier." Said Sho, pulling out a CD and CD player. "What's that midget Jap doing now?" Asked Commie Buster. "OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! He's about to sing to a High-High Puffy Ami-Umi song!" Yelled Phil, remembering the terrible Japanese band's terrible Cartoon Network sho. Before Sho began singing however, Glen Beck through the dead body of New York City Mayor John Payton at Sho, which sent Sho flying through the wall to the right of him, and onto a the hood of an old ford pick-up truck from the 50's. |
Power Leveler Posts: 4510 Joined: 3 Jun 2009 | "JACKASS! I wasn't going to play that anyway!" Sho yelled FOIL |
Master Looter Posts: 2596 Joined: 29 Jul 2009 | "Wow. Thanks for the save, Glen Beck. I would be more enthusiastic but, y'know, you're an ass, and you aren't funny." Phil said solemnly "No prob, it's what i do-" Before Glen could finish, Phil jabs him right in the stomach. "THIS IS FOR BEING AN ASS!" Phil yells. Then one of Phil armblades pop out of Glen's back. "AND THIS IS FOR BEING UNFUNNY!" Once his armblade retracts back into him, Phil body slams Glen into the ground, Then faces Rush Limbaugh. "You're next fat-ass." Phil says, taking off his H.a.L.O and it into Soulcaibur. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | Sho, quickly using his sonic screech voice shouted the words:"DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!" In Japanese, sending the truck thrown down by Glen Beck that was on top of Sho back up at Glen, hurting him even more, considering Phil stabbed him through the gut. "Fool! Mine is the power of sound! I need just shout a letter and can kick ass all day!" Yelled Sho, in sonic screech form, which knocked Glen through the city hall buildings, and into a pile of ammonium nitrate fertilizer, which then exploded. "Muahahahahahahahahah!!!!" Shouted Sho, in sonic creech form, destroying City Hall, and causing it's structure to collapse upon the heroes still inside. "I gotta call Xandus! He'll be so fucking happy, and as a plus, wont kill me Mortal Kombat style!" Yelled Sho, pulling out his cell phone. MEANWHILE, IN PORTUGAL! "Blah Blah Blah Portuguese is a cheap knock off of Spanish blah!" (A.K.A. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT, TWO DRAGONS AND AN ELF OUR DESTROYING OUR CAPITAL GARDA! in English.)" Yelled a Stereotypical Port (*coughs* Adam *uncoughs*), running away from the absolute carnage behind him, which included several hundred dead bodies, 72 dedtroyed cars, 12 blown up buses, Xandus brutally battle scared, electro brutally battle scared, Dark mildly battle scared, and Brittney Spears fighting Miley Cirus over who's more washed up. "I cant wait to cutt out your inky black heart Xandus, and place it on a pike in the new throne room I shall build after I take Kaiser's power, and that of the boy. Then I'll-" Suddenly, Xandus's cell phone, which amazingly was not harmed in the many beatings he took fighting Dark over across the Atlantic, rang. "Could you hold the threats for just a second? Someones calling. Hello?" MEANWHILE, IN IOWA. "Hey Xandus? No need to get snippy with me! I just called to tell you that the heroes are dead! Yeah, ahuh, good to know that your happy. Listen, are you still gonna kill me Mortal Kombat style? No? FUCKING SWEET! FUCKING TI-" Said Sho, before Bill O'Reily, using his telekenetic abilities, lifted up the debrid that surrounded him, and the heroes and villians. "OMIFUCKINGGO-"Yelled Sho, trying to run away, before Bill O'Reily, using his telekenetic abilities, through the debris at Sho, knocking him several miles away. "Thanks Bill O'Reily!" Said Phil, extending him hand to shake hands with Bill. Bill however, turned towards the flaming carcass of Glen Beck, then back to Phil, and picked Phil up with his telekenesis. "You killed Beck, and just about every other member of the NAXI'S! For that, as their Furher, I shall see to it that you are killed!" Yelled Bill. "Put him down you crazy pasty old crack'a!" Yelled Samii, taking out her whooping stick. "Glady." Said Bill, before using his abilities to launch Phil several hundred feet in the air, towards where Sho landed. |
Master Looter  Posts: 1210 Joined: 10 Feb 2009  | It is widely suspected, but not widely known, that human (or even humanoid) flight is completely possible. This suspicion is entirely true and the affect is achievable simply by forgetting to hit the ground, which is what the following sequence of events made Death the Kid do. Rag hovered, watching Phil get his ass beat by Bill O'Reilly, debating whether or not to help the kid out. "Ahh f'ck it." Passing a hand over his beaten and broken H.a.L.O., he sent a small spark of dark energy into it. Anyone paying attention might have seen a slight vibration as the H.a.L.O. reactivated, the first time in nearly a century. It's red glow intensified as the seconds passed, the cracks and shattered bits reassembling themselves. He took it off and threw it above him where it hung, suspended on air as it's glow further intensified. Eventually, Bill noticed the red pulsating light behind him and paused in his beating long enough to turn around, one hand suspending Phil by the collar, his fist cocked back for another punch. "Dear God!" he exclaimed, absent-mindedly punching Phil one last time before dropping him to the ground and turning to face the glow. "Not quite," replied Rag, his wings spread wide, the dark angel's silhouette sharp against the glow. "Learn yer place, mortal. Ye're bane be behind ye." "What? I'm sorry, I only speak AmerOH GOD!" Bill said as Phil, perfectly alright, swept his legs out from under him as he stood. From his back, he flipped up and kicked Phil in the face, knocking him out cold. "As I was saying, I only speak American. Care to speak like a normal person?" Rag smiled, though no one could see it, his silhouette being too dark. "Aye, I'll tell ye one thin'. I'm on a blimp, motherfucker, don't you ever forget. ALEXANDER." This last boomed. The red glow shifted through the spectrum, eventually glowing blue as it widened, revealing a portal out of which came a blimp. A very large blimp. With cannons. "ARK BLAST." There was that echo again, as though Ragnorak was speaking in a different space than they were, like his voice set the stars to shuddering. The cannons on Alexander zeroed in on Bill and fired in sequence, each shot hitting him and causing major damage. Then Alexander vanished back to whence it came as Bill stood up, breathing heavily. "DAMN! That's some firepower you got there! However...I get the feeling that that is nowhere near the extent of that device's power...or your own...I dread to think what might happen if you became serious. I might have to stop you." Phil said in a conversational tone, directed towards Ragnorak. He leaned against a joist, one of the few that hadn't fallen over. "Also, what happened to your accent?" Ragnorak nodded to Phil and returned the H.a.L.O. to his arm as it descended. It's glow had gone, but it was no longer the beaten wreck it had been. "Angel's speak wi' all the tongues o' men. An', I've switche' to the High Speech. "Ye'd be correct about my power and even this device. Kee' in min', the H.a.L.O. is more than jus' thy line to th' Big Guy. I's a weap'n in i's own righ'. I' c'n summon pow'rs beyond any o' us angels. I don' use mine much anymore, though, Wyrmbane's enough f'r me." Rag laughed. "In any case, are ye gonna finish tha' mortal off? Readin' his af'erlife, he's bound f'r a long stay at th' expense o' the Old Goat, dinnae worry 'bou' tha'." "But, aren't we supposed to show mercy? He's obviously not much of a threat anymore, and sending him to Hell without the chance at redemption seems...well, it seems more like something the other side'd do," Phil said with a slight look of puzzlement on his face. "Keh. Ye're righ', i's not correc' to jus' kill 'im. Well, do as ye see fi'." Ragnorak responded, shrugging slightly. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose misapplication of the word. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | Suddenly, a massive explosion hit the ground near Rag and Phil. The heroes turned around and saw futuristic looking soldiers behind sandbags and defenses firing into the distance. There were artillery pieces firing, and tanks and mechs rushing to where the bullets were heading. A man wearing an officers hat and wearing a coat held a chainsaw-blade in the air. "HOLD THE LINE!" yelled the man "FOR THE EMPIRE!" "Excuse me, but who are you and what the fuck is going on?" said D Link "I am Commissar Karpov." said the man "We are fighting a war right now, and you are in the middle of it." "A war?" said Rag "Against who?" "See for yourself." said Commissar Karpov The heroes turned around and saw this: "What. The. Fuck." said Link "Are those Tyranids?!?!" screamed Ram The Tyrandis began attacking the soldiers, ripping them to pieces as the fired at them. "HOLD THE LINE!" yelled the Commissar |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | Bill, watching the heroes and the minor villains, quitely crept to Glen Beck's corpse. "Sorry Glen,but if I'm to kill these immigrant fucks,m I need your pure, raw, coservatism!" Said Bill, his hands around Glen's dead neck, absorbing Glen's raw conservative energy, and claiming it as his own. "YES! YES! YES!!!" Shouted Bill , growing a thousand feet tall and breathing fire and lightning from his mouth like Godzilla. "I AM BILL O'REILY! I, AM, GOD!!!" Shouted Bill, using his massive fire and lightning breath to kill the Tyranoids and the army that fought them. "AH!!! IT'S BILL'ZILLA!!!" Shouted Sho, running like a Japanese extra in a monster movie. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | Suddenly, Samuel L. Jackson came down from the heavens. "THAT'S IT!" yelled Samuel L Jackson "I'VE HAD IT WITH NO MOTHERFUKCING PLOT PROGRESSION IN THIS RP!" Samuel L Jackson brought the two armies back to life, who continued fighting. He transformed Bill o' Reilly back into a normal human and disappeared. The Commissar turned to the heroes. "You! I need you to help me defeat the Tyranids!" shouted the Commissar "Why should we help you?" asked Ram The Commissar pulled out his chainsaw-blade and stabbed Grimm in the gut with it. "BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU ALL IF YOU DON'T!" yelled the Commissar "Now help me kill these dammed Tyranids! HOLD THE LINE!" |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN THE DC UNIVERSE.... "The Hell? WHY THE FUCK AM I HEAR!?" Asked Samuel L Jackson, floating in space. "BECAUSE WE'VE COME TO KILL YOU SAM MOTHER FUCKING JACKSON!" Yelled a voice that sounded like a cross between that of Thanos and Darksied. Suddenly, several thousand laser blasts appeared from every direction and hit Samuel L Jackson. The barage continued for 7 seconds before Sam got pissed, and fired high intensity light beams (a.k.a. lasers) in the directions he got hit by laser from. He watched as several star ships exploded in brilliant flashed of light. "THATS FOR TRYING TO BEAT SAM L. MOTHER FUCKING JACKSON!" Yelled Sam. Suddenly, from behind Sam, a Boom Tube appeared.
And out came the hideously evil fusion that is Thanoseid!
"DAMN! YOUR ONE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER!" Yelled Sam, firing off light beams from his eyes, hands, and anus towards Thanoseid. Sam was surprised however, when he saw that the blasts of light did'nt even look like they fazed Thanoseid. "FOOL! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT THE FUSION OF THE NEW GOD OF EVIL AND MAD TITAN COULD BE DEFEATED BY AN INSIGNIFICANT ANGEL LIKE YOU!? YOU MUST BE EITHER RETARDED OR CRAZIER THEN CRAZY EDDY, BECAUSE AT THE REDICULOUSLY LOW PRICES HE SELLS HIS INTERSTELLAR SPACE SHIPS, HE MUST BE INSANE!" Yelled Thanoseid, using his psi-omega beams to quickly disintegrate Samuel L.MotherFucking Jackson. "GOOD. NOW THAT JACKSON IS OUT OF THE WAY, IT'S TIME TO VISIT SATAN AND SEE IF HE WONT BE SO KIND AS TO RELEASE MY APPRENTICE." Said Thanoseid, opening up a Boom Tube to hell. MEANWHILE, IN IOWA!!! "Just one second you fucking criminal Commie! Why should I fight for a Ruskie sum'bitch like you?" Asked Commie Buster to the comissar. Suddenly, the commisar pulled out a chain saw staff, and pointed it Commie Buster's head. "I TOLD YOU YOU HILLBILLY FUCK! NOW QUIT WASTING OXYGEN AND HELP US FIGHT!" Yelled the Commisar. "FUCK YOU YA DIRTY POLACK! YOUR RUSKIE STRATEGY PROBABLEY INVOLVES SENDING HORDES OF MEN TO SLUGHTER WITHOUT USING ANY REAL TACTICS OTHER THEN "LETS GO FROM POINT A, AND KICK ASS AT POINT B!" Yelled Commie Buster. "No it doesnt!" Yelled the commissar. Several minutes later..... "Damn, I knew I should'nt have just sent waves of men without any real non-zerg rushing strategy!" Yelled the Commissare, he and the heroes and non-Xandus villians surrounded by dead non-tyranid bodies and tyranids, waiting to pounce. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | "Well this is fucking great." said D Link "What do we do now?" "I'll tell you what we are going to do! We are going to hold the Line!" shouted the Commissar, shooting a Tyranid warrior in the head with his pistol "Hold the line?" said Link "Is that you're only strategy?" "Of course it's my only damn strategy!" yelled the Commissar "You know why? Because it works! Getting torn to ribbons by Tyranids hordes? Hold the line! Being slaughtered by Khorne Chaos warriors? Hold the line! Under attack by an army of undead robots? Hold the line! Up against super advanced elf-aliens? Hold the line!" "Well I'm sick and tired of holding the line. Come on bro, let's kill these alien bastards." said D Link D Link got on top of Andy, who flew over the Tyranids and shot fire at them. Link shot light arrows at the army, blinding the warriors. He then transformed into a wolf and lunged at the Tyranids. "FOR THE EMPEROR!" yelled D Link |
Apprentice  Posts: 2 Joined: 8 Nov 2009  | Admerail Spaceship came in on a flying cat and shouted "Look! Aliens and Demons! Must be the work of Doctor Scientist!, He shot three of them down with his laser cat and ran for his life. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "OMIGOD! ANDY SANDBERG!" Yelled Orgazmo, jumping on Admerail Spaceship's right leg, and proceeding to hump it like a dog. "ORGAZMO! QUIT BEING A FAGGOT AN HELP US!" Yelled Commie Buster, spinning around with his arms outstretched, like a Tornado, smacking away and Tyrnids that got in his destructive path, and Dark Link and andy towards where Sho landed. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, several boom tubes appeared, sucking up Multi-Kill, Titanos and his men, LastBay King, and every other character I introduced in the past 1.6 months (except Commie Buster, because I love him). "THE FUCK!?" Yelled Commie Buster at the appearance of these tubes, before getting bitten in his right leg from a tyrnid sneaking up from behind him. |
Apprentice Posts: 2 Joined: 8 Nov 2009 | "HMMM. You hump legs often sweet cheeks?" Asked Admirail spaceship. "I knew you went both ways Orgazmo, but for god sake! We have a child in the group!" Yelled Dark Link, getting up from the crater he made when he landed, quickly noticing that andy and Sho had been flattend cartoonishly like pancakes beneath him. |
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"Is okay" mumbled Ram, horns caught in Maddawg's mech's legs, both of them under a large rock.
"So, I'm guessing your here to help us defeat the villains by how your beating up a black dragon?" Ram asked with a hopeful tone.
"Well, no actually. I'm preventing this dragon from attacking my master, who wants to destroy the world on his terms."
"And the term is African-Draconian, you damn cracker!" Dark cried, whipping Electro while he was distracted. His dark tendrils made a deep cut in Electro'd body, making the electric dragon roar.