"I say we go find a wizard!" said Dark Link

"A wizard?" said Ram

"Yeah, wizards always do something useful for heroes of prophecy and adventurers, like helping us fight the evil enemies, or telling us where to find something important."

"Well, where do we find a wizard?" said Maddawg

Suddenly, a wizard teleported in front of the heroes.

"Hello travelers! I am the wizard!" said the bearded man

"Well, that was convenient."

"I hear that you are the heroes of prophecy." said the wizard "I am here to give some valuable words of wisdom."

"What are these words of wisdom, oh wise bearded one?" said Rag

The wizard pulled out a wooden sword and handed it to Dark Link.

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

"Um, is that all?" said Dark Link

"What? Don't you appreciate my words of wisdom?" asked the wizard

"Oh no, their good words just...maybe the timing and solution is a bit...off?" Ram asked, looking at the wooden sword with doubt.

"Whatch you talkin bout, Goat?"

"Well, for one; Dark Link isn't alone, he's with friends (and/or enemies). Also, how would a wooden practice sword solve any social-interaction problems? It's wood! It couldn't even keep a bunny at bay, let alone keep someone company!"

"Hey! Mr.Swordy has always kept good company with me. Haven't you, Mr.Swordy? ...what? Okay, yes, I have been a little busy with spell preparations and what-not...no I'm not ignoring your needs...Well what about me, huh?! You ever stopped to think about MY feelings, you bit-hey, where'd they go?"

A long distance away from the Lonely Wizard.
"So, how are we going to figure out this prophecy now?" Dark Link asked, catching his breath.
"You don't worry bout that, my friend" Ram said with a relaxed grin. "I've been part of quiet a few prophecies, and it's in my experience that it always finds a way to you..."

Meanwhile, several dozen miles away in a Dark and Desolate castle.
The Dark Lord turned the page, continuing his reading of one of the books from the Library of Evil.
*Sigh*"Oh Edward, when will you just finally let Bellah into your cold but handsome heart?"
"MASTER!" a small demon cried, rushing into the Dark Lord's chamber. "We have located the Heroes of Prophecy!"

The Dark Lord causally looked up, then sighed again and placed a bookmark made of human skin to mark his place.
"Very well, send out the Gryphons of Ultimate Doom then."
The demon looked confused for a moment, before bursting in laughter.

"Hehehe, that's a good one Gov'ner! Sending out the Gryphons, why, that would kill them instantly!"
"...and that's a problem....why?"

The little demon looked confused again. "That wouldn't give them a sporting chance, now would it? We need to send out some level one blobs and work our way up, gets the heroes nice and practiced to give them a fair chance.

"...give the heroes that are foreseen to destroy everything I've worked for, including me?" the Dark Lord asked, making a motion with his hand. A small eep halted a reply. "Alright, are those Gryphons being sent out then?"

"All the Gryphons are having a bit of bird flu, sir." a new demon replied, still wiping some blood of its self. "But we do have some spare Trolls to send out."
"Very well. Send out...the Trolls!"

ajb924:
"This is stupid..." Sho said looking at the giant army of stuff
"Where have you been!?" Maddawg questioned
"I WAS TRAPPED BEHIND THE WALLS OF TEXT OKAY!?" Sho replied "Now, I say we just drop a nuke on em."
"Ok... Where do we get said nuke?" Ram asked
"And how do we get high enough off the ground to avoid the explosion" Rag asked
"And what about all the civilians?" Phil asked
"And what about-" Livingness started to say
"FINE! Someone else come up with a better idea then damn!" Sho said

I'm still around

Multi-Kill:

ajb924:
"This is stupid..." Sho said looking at the giant army of stuff
"Where have you been!?" Maddawg questioned
"I WAS TRAPPED BEHIND THE WALLS OF TEXT OKAY!?" Sho replied "Now, I say we just drop a nuke on em."
"Ok... Where do we get said nuke?" Ram asked
"And how do we get high enough off the ground to avoid the explosion" Rag asked
"And what about all the civilians?" Phil asked
"And what about-" Livingness started to say
"FINE! Someone else come up with a better idea then damn!" Sho said

I'm still around

Dude

Really? When did we separate? I thought we were all in one spot.

MEANWHILE... ON THE RUINS OF A WORLD IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE, DARKSIED SITS ON THR RUINS OF HIS OLD THRONE ROOM, AMONGST THE RUINS OF THE WORLD HE ONCE RULED WITH AN IRON, OR RATHER,A PROMETHEAN FIST....

"Damn I hate this planet. Sure the mass genocide, murder, and slavery was all right, but everytime things got really good I always managed to fuck it up, by invading earth or New Genesis, and pissing off earths heroes or the other New Gods, especially that asshole Superman and my douche-bag son Orion."

Suddenly, the old throne beneath him gives way, and Darksied finds himself sitting on rubble.

"The Epic and final battle that took place here, between the Justice Leauge of America/New Genesis and my world of Apokalips was the best thing that ever happended to me. Sure, most of the other New Gods died, and I took out most of the JLA, but, if Doomsday had'nt knocked me into the portal machine, I would have never entered the year 10,000 B.C. of the earth I was just on, and never have taken over most of the Corprate world of the 19th and 20th century."

"Yet, despite still being incredibly powerful, I was defeated by the spirit of a damn B list celebrity, and sent back here. I could probably go back, but until I think up a way for vengence against him, Samuel L. Mother Fucking Jackson will have his victory.

MEANWHILE!!!

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT!!! I'LL ELECTROCUTE YOUR BALLS!!!" Shouted ram, Orgazmo having just stuck his middle finger inside Ram's.... comic effect, shocking Orgazmo in his private area.

Pm0n3y:

Multi-Kill:

ajb924:
"This is stupid..." Sho said looking at the giant army of stuff
"Where have you been!?" Maddawg questioned
"I WAS TRAPPED BEHIND THE WALLS OF TEXT OKAY!?" Sho replied "Now, I say we just drop a nuke on em."
"Ok... Where do we get said nuke?" Ram asked
"And how do we get high enough off the ground to avoid the explosion" Rag asked
"And what about all the civilians?" Phil asked
"And what about-" Livingness started to say
"FINE! Someone else come up with a better idea then damn!" Sho said

I'm still around

Dude

Really? When did we separate? I thought we were all in one spot.

MWANWHILE, ABOVE THE EARTH, A DARK FORCE WATCHES ANDY... WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO STRIKE....

"Finally, after nearly a millenium, I will have my power restored! All I need is the hiden power inside of that dragon infant, in order to rise again!!!" Said the Force.

Suddenly, the force, using it's crystal ball, saw that the group that the leader of the group tat was with andy was beeting one of it's memebers senselessly with lightning.

"Nova, Aqua! Come to me!!!" Shouted the force, two portal opening up next to him, one, a fiery conflagration, the other a cool burst of ice.

From those portal's, two massive Dragons appeared, one completely covered in fire, the other in ice.

"Go now, to earth my servants, raise hell on it! Only when you have caused enough mayhem and destruction, will the group that holds the baby dragon come, and when they do, defeat them, and capture the dragon!" Yelled the force.

"Yes master!" Yelled Nova and Aqua, heading towards earth.

"Hey, I see a village over there." said Dark Link "Let's go there, and ask the villagers what we are suppose to do."

"Sounds like a good idea to me." said Ram

The heroes walked towards the village. When they reached the villages, they were approached by a peasant.

"Welcome to our village, adventurers!" said the peasant "Fell free too...by the gods!"

The peasant pointed at Andy, who was gnawing at the wood of a nearby house.

"It's the dragon prince! That must mean that you travelers are the.."

"Heroes of the Prophecy. Yeah, yeah, we know already." said Dark Link "What we don't know is what we have to do right now."

"Say, where is the town's Inn?" said Ram "I always need to drink some booze before I go on a big quest."

"Booze? You heroes do not have time for alcoholic beverages! The forces of evil are closing upon us as I speak!" said the peasant

"What kind of forces of darkness are we taking about here?" said Dark Link "Orcs? Demons? Goblins? Republicans?"

"All of those and more!" said the peasant "You heroes need to find the Lost Ring of Azamardial in the mountains and..."

Suddenly, the peasant was impaled with a spear. The heroes turned and saw a group of trolls attacking the village.

"Well, at least now I get to kill something." said Dark Link

In portals of fire and ice, Nova and Aqua appeared, as humans in glowing red and blue helmetless suits of armor respectively, atop a convientlly placd hill that overlooked the village where the magic ram and his compatriots were fighting.

"It appears the trolls are doing our work for us Brother." Said Aqua, in a female voice.

"Damn. I was hoping I would'nt have to watch two factions fight over something and pick off whoever remains again like on Crips/Bloods World." Said Nova.

MEANWHILE!!!

"This is a time to pull out my wang saber!" Yelled Orgazmo, putting on the wang-saber, the studio audience clapping and cheering, due to the wang-saber being a fan favorite.

However, when he activated it, the plasma sagged down to the ground. Quickly, vigourously shook and rubbed his wang, until, 5 seconds later, the plasma was sticking up. Good thing to, for at that very moment, several trolls, each with a mace, surrounded Orgazmo.

Using hsi super fast and sexy reflexes, Orgazmo, in one spin, cutt the hands of the trolls surrounding him, and in one spin-kick, knocked them down.

"Ha! You were fools to think you could handle such a package!!!" Yelled Orgazmo, running across the injured and in pain trolls, leaping off the face of one towards Samii, who's wopen stick was just smashed by the mace of one of te few trolls around her that werent on the ground with massive bruises on their head brought on by the blunt force of the stick.

Suddenly Orgazmo was knocked out of the air by a flying troll, landing heavily on one of the huts.
"Whoops, sorry Orgazmo! Put to much spice in that one." Ram called back, ramming another troll and sending it flying.

"Trog Believe he can fly, Trog believe he can touch the skyyyy." the troll sang, before landing in a nearby hill. Picking its self up, he looked up at two massive dragons of fire and ice.

"Hmm, interesting development." the ice one said, before lowering her head down to look the troll in the face. "You, troll. If you can retrieve the dragon baby those adventurers have, we can reward you beyond your wildest dreams..."

"...you give Trog donkey, whipped cream, chicken feathers, and young Puerto Rican boy?"

"....yeah, sure. Now go get that dragon baby!" the Fire dragon roared, throwing the troll back to the village.

Dark Link got onto Andy's back and began attacking the trolls from above with fire and bullets. Suddenly, a blade went flying towards Dark Link, slicing his handgun in half. A Troll Witch-Doctor riding a bat appeared in front of Dark Link.

"Hey! That handgun was a gift from my uncle, you jackass!" said Dark Link

"You want to see something real scary?" said the Witch-Doctor in a Jamaican accent

"No?" said Dark Link

The Witch-Doctor raised his hands in the air. Several serpent wards appeared from the ground, which began shooting poison at the heroes and villagers. A giant serpent appeared in front of the Witch-Doctor, which lunged towards Dark Link.

"Oh crap." said Dark Link, as he swerved out of the way

Dark Link and Andy swooped and dived, trying to avoid the poison being shot at him.
"You left! Your right! Gah, below you! DUCK! Dive! DO A BARREL RO-argh!"
Dark Link flew off as Andy halted abruptly, landing face first in a cart of hay. Jumping back out, he saw a large Troll carrying Andy away as he held Andy's mouth shut.
"Trog now get his prize! Hehe, here I come, Emmanuel my Puerto Rican Boy!"
"NOO! Don't take mah baby!" Dark Link cried, running after the Troll.

Steakheart, who had taken about 3 hours to slither to the sound of dragons and trolls, finally approached the site. He noticed that some odd people needed help, and pulled out another Laser Cannon.

"Wait, couldn't I have used on that Multi-Kill guy? If I hadn't been thinking about lettuce, maybe."

Steak began to fire on the troll he saw, making it drop unconscious on the ground, dropping someone who was on it's shoulder. Hearing it's faint cries of, "NO! I WANTED PUERTO RICAN BOY!", he set his Cannon to "Emmanuel", and fired it next to the troll. The troll grabbed the confused boy, and the people who were formerly fighting turned and stared at him.

"Hello, earthlings! I come in peace! Well, I didn't a few minutes ago, but now that I've thought about it, I come in peace!"

"Let go of me!" yelled Andy, being carried away by Trog "You're mean, and you smell funny!"

Never! Now I get Two Puerto Rican boys!" said Trog

Andy's eyes went red he broke free of Trog's grasp and flew into the air. A flame consumed the dragon's body. In seconds, it grew from the size of a horse to the size of a car.

Oh crap.

"YOU MADE ME ANGRY!" roared Andy "NOW YOU MUST PAY!"

Andy shot a jet of fire at the troll, burning him to death. Andy flew down to Dark Link, who got on his back. Dark Link flew towards the Witch-Doctor, who was still controlling a giant serpent.

"Time to get some payback for that gun you broke." said Dark Link

Dark Link pulled out his sword. Flames came from Andy's eyes, and the sword transformed into a flaming claymore, which sliced the giant serpent in half.

"...wow, that hasn't happened before." said Dark Link, holding his new flaming claymore

"Of course, it has to be a claymore." said Maddawg "How typical."

"Shut up Maddawg."

The Witch-Doctor consumed most of his energy summoning the giant snake. Now he has no more tricks up his sleeve. The heroes surround him. Phil picked up the Witch-Doctor by the neck, and raised him above his head, while having an armblade at the Witch-Doctor's chest. Dark Link walks up to Phil and the doc.

"Who sent you?!" Dark Link said, hitting the Doc with the hilt of his claymore.
"Tell us now!"

"I ain't telling you shit." The doc said spitting at the heroes. Phil choke slams the Witch to the ground, hard enough to make cracks.

"You got 10 seconds to tell us your plans before i turn you into swiss cheese! Do you hear me ?!" Phil yells.

The Witch-Doctor laughs at The heroes' feeble attempt to interrogate him.

"Plu-lease, what do think you can do to me?"

"You're surrounded by two angels, a magical baby dragon, a ram that can conjure lightning, and a large assortment of various characters from games, movies, and tv shows. Don't make us get creative."

Not to far from the group, Nova and Aqua peek out from behind a house.

"It won't be long before they find out our plans." Nova said, in a solemn tone.

"Well, i think it's time we say hello to our friends, eh brother?" Aqua said, blowing up the building they were hiding behind.

The explosion gets the heroes' attention. They turn around to see two figures step from out of the dust and debris of the former building.

"Looking for us?" They say simultaneously.

"I THINK ITS LAZ0RING TIME! let me check my pocket sun-dial" lazor said, pulling a large sundial out of his non existant pocket. "ohhhyea... were..in..a cave..WELL IM GOING TO GUESSTIMATE ITS LAZ0RING TIME!"

"Laz0r, your going to get us sent to hell if they're preists, Thor barely forgave us last time" Phil contradicted

"hey hey hey, i know my priest scent, they all smell like candles and little boys." Laz0r said.

"...well then..." Phil said, taking one large step back.

Laz0r charged at the two people full speed and bit one of them in the ear, then, he magically caught on fire.

"OWW IT BURNS!!! PHIL PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!!!"

Phil didnt put it out, and just let him cook until golden brown and delicious.

"ok lets try this again! LERRROOOYY JENKINNSSS!!!" laz0r screamed as he charged full force into the two, who were just standing there drinking tea and eating crumpets.

but one of them just threw a baby rabbit over in the corner and Lazor chased after it.

"Holy shit!!! I havent seen Dragons that big and powerful since I accidently woke up the dragon in "Beowulf" while running away from my giant captors and accidently unleashing it upon countless innocent Scandinavians (AS SEEN IN THE EPIC POEM BEOWULF!)." Said Ram, before Nova, tail whipped him and the other heroes back to LA, and grabbed andy with his mouth.

"Let go of me you big meanie!!!" Yelled Andy, breathing fire on Nova's face.

"Foolish child. I am the dragon of fire! Your flames can not harm me!" Yelled Nova

With that, the Nova and Aqua began charging up an intense light, one that served as a beckon to alert their master once they had captured the boy.

However, before they could fire off the signal, Andy, in a burst of his hidden power, blasted the two elemental dragons into the mountain side they had previously watched the trolls attack from, with a mouth blast of pure cosmic energy.

"Oop's, then I do that?" Asked Andy, hovering in the air, belching loudly afterwards.

MEANWHILE, IN LA, THE HEROES DUST THEMSELVES OFF AFTER RISING UP FROM THE LARGE CRATER THEIR IMPACT MADE.

"Just goes to show ya, I should have never turned down that asgardian armor Thors old 1980's servant, Super-Cell (AS SEEN IN ISSUE 17 OF "THE ADVENTURES OF RAM!") offered to give to me. I should have known I'd be smacked around large distances and create craters large enough to build a tavern in." Said Ram

"I just hope little andy is okay." Said Dark Link

"Me to." Said Phil and Lazor in unison, Phil stretching his wings and Lazor his willy, which had turned blue from all of the fighting going on today.

"Whoa, those ball's are bluer then all three of the Jonas Brothers, and I know, I've seen their balls..." Said Orgazmo, before lazor lept on him, knocking him down, and began clawing at his face.

MEANWHILE, SEVERAL RED-NECK HILLBILLIES PULL OVER IN THEIR PICK UP TRUCKS IN FRONT OF ANDY.

"Well slap my ass and call me queer, we got's ourselves the babe dragon of the prophecy! Ya'll no what to do!" Said Red-Neck man, the leader of the extremley conservative Paleo-Republican Red-Neck Hillbillies."Ya'll know's what to do!"

With that, the Red-Neck Hillbillies pulled out electro-net guns, and aimed for andy.

"D'aw crap, my 'deep shit' senses are tingling. We need to get back to that dragon!" Ram said.

"But how? We're in LA! Which means we're in a different time and place! It would be too late and too impossible to get to back in time!" Dark Link cried.

"Did someone say they needed to get to a place really really quickly, mon?" a tall Jamaican asked, wearing a yellow jump-suit with a large M in the middle.

"It's Mon-tage! Quick, we need to get to medieval Oblivion, stat!"

"No problem, mon! Bop-Bop!"

A minute later with the song "All Star" by Smashmouth playing in the background

"Okay, got here all right, but did you guys really needed to ride on my back the whole time? And why the HELL was that stupid song playing?!" Ram demanded, rubbing his sore back.

"HELP ME!" Andy cried, as the Red-Neck Hillbillies shot their electro-net guns and captured Andy.

"Hehe, dere's no use, you little meal-ticket! We's got ourselves the Orb of Negation to prevent any of your Devil Magic!" one of the Red-necks boasted, holding up a glowing orb.

"NOOO!" Dark Link cried, falling to his knees as the pick-up truck sped away.
"Stop being such drama queen and go after them!" Ram cried, racing after the truck.

MEANWHILE, IN THE MOUNTAIN ANDY KNOCKED NOVA AND AQUA INTO....

"Damn it! The boy's power is coming to fruition! We must make haste brother!!!" Yelled Aqua, turning into water vapor and heading towards the pick-up truck where Andy was being held captive in.

"Right behind you sis." Said Nova, turning into pure fire, and flying behind his sister towards the pick-up trucks.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Damn, since when was I slower then a fucking pick-up truck that look's like it has'nt started since the 50's!!!" Yelled Ram, panting, running behind the pick-up truck.

Suddenly,Red-Neck man, who was driving the pick-up, saw ram in his rear-view mirro and shouted:"Boys, we got us some company!"

With that, the two sleeping hill billies in the back of the pick-up, picked up their m-16's and began firing at Ram.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I wonder how were going to catch up to ram." Said Phil.

"Do you have any candy?" Asked lazor.

"Yeah, two unproceced sugar sticks. Why?"

Several seconds after lazor grabbed the two sugar sticks and gulped them down like a mad-man...

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO! Get on my back guys, and buckle the fucking seatbelts, cause it's gonna be a motherfucking bumpy RIDEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Yelled Lazor.

A milisecond after everyone got on his back and buckled the seat beats there, lazor took off at an incredible speed, the mouths of those on his back flapping around like the penis of an old guy.

"Dammit Emmy, enough with the fuckin sex jokes!!" Phil yells.

As the heroes and sugar filled Lazor neared the pickup, Dark Link picked up Ram and put him on Lazor.

"Why the hell weren't you chasing the car? You did adopt him y'know!" Ram said.

"Me? Run? Ha. I never run, i causally stroll! I would've gotten to the car...eventually." Dark Link answered.

All of a sudden the hillbillies open fire on the crew.

"I'll take care this." Phil said, jumping off Lazor and unsheathing his energy wings. He flies in front of Lazor, turning his arms into shields, to provide cover for the crew. Once the Hillbillies stop to reload, Phil throws his shields to disarm them. Then Dark Link pulls a light, ice blue crystal out of his hat. It's covered with icicles, and it covers D Link's hands with cold fog. He points it in the the trajectory of the car.

"THADEI'S FROST!!"

Tall, Thick icicles pop up from under the ground, impaling the car's chassis, stopping it dead in it's tracks. Andy's net rolls out of the pickup, and D Link catches him.

Suddenly, the ic thats stopped the pick-up broke into 3 large chunks, and flew into our heroes, pinning them to the ground.

"What the fuck just happended!?" Asked Phil, pinned samii to his left, and Dark link to bis right, also pinned down.

"I used my water/ice abilities." Said Aqua, hovering above our heroes, in the form of water vapor.

"Well then, you just signed your death warrent dragon!!!" Yelled Rag, picking up the block of ice that had him, Ram, and Orgazmo pinned, and throwing at Aqua.

However, since she was intangible by such physical attacks due to being water vapor, the ice just went through her and melted as it impacted against Nova.

"You pathetic fallen angel!!! That hurt slightly!!!" Yelled Nova, firing off a fireball from his mouth, which was bigger then Ram, Rag, and Orgazmo combined, towards Rag.

"Shit shit shit!!!" Yelled Rag, he Orgazmo and Ram having jumped at the last possible second from the fireballs path, Rag's stubby and cut wings on fire.

"I've had enough of this." said Dark Link "Time to kill these bastards."

Dark Link reached into his hat and pulled out a longbow. He loaded an arrow with a blue crystal tip into the bow.

"Do you think a mere bow can defeat me?" laughed Aqua "I am the dragon of water! You cannot..."

Dark Link shot his arrow at Aqua. The crystal at the end shattered, and the water dragon was frozen in a block of ice.

"Ice? Ice?" said Aqua "Ice cannot defeat me! I am...wait, what are you doing?"

Dark Link pulled out another arrow, which had a bomb at the end of it.

"Oh crap." said Aqua

Dark Link fired is arrow at the block of ice, shattering it into a million pieces. He turned to Pyro.

"Now time to kill you."

"No, it's time to kill you!" roared Pyro

Pyro shot a fireball at Dark Link, who pulled out his water crystal.

NAYRU'S LOVE!"

Dark Link was surrounded by a magic shield. The fireball hit him, but Dark Link was undamaged. Dark Link reached into his hat and pulled out a Hookshot.

"You fucker." said Pyro

Dark Link fired the Hookshot directly into Pyro's mouth. He pulled back the Hookshot, ripping out Pyro's tongue.

"NOES!" said Pyro "I NEEDS THAS TO SPEEK AND OS MAH FIRE POWAHS!"

"Oh... My... Fucking... God, you guys!" Livingness complained, collapsing to his knees and panting. "You couldn't have... Possibly... Made room on the flying laser dog for a couple of skinny anime teenagers?"
"Laser dogs are for bitches and you're a bitch!" Death yelled, riding in on a decidedly bad-ass looking motorbike.
"Dude, where the hell... Did you get that?" Livingness asked, panting some more and passing out on the ground.
"The same place I got... This!" Death yelled, pulling a decidedly bad-ass looking gunblade out of his belt. "That is to say, I stole it from a mopey emo who was cutting himself because he was being stalked by one of the hottest chicks in video game history!"
He leveled the gunblade at Pyro and kicked the brake off the motorcycle. Then he charged!
"Watashi wa shinen! SHIENZOOOOOO!!!" Pyro yelled, spinning around rapidly and flicking his tail at Death. A little flashing letter "X" appeared above Death's head.
"Wait, what?" The tail slammed into Death and sent him flying into a cliff face. "God dammit, I pressed squaaaaaaare..." He yelled, flying off into the distance.

Before Dark Link could do anything else however, the water that used to be the ice that surounded Aqua pulled together, and froze, reforming her, and using her ice powers, froze the water that Dark Link was covered in, freezing him.

Before Dark Link could break free, Nova reformed his fire tongue, and fired a ball of fire at Dark Link, hitting him, and sending him back 57 miles away, with a crash onto downtown Compton (Because were still in California, not Oblivion Ram!!!).

Before Dark Link could get up from the massive 20 foot crater his landing caused, Nova appeared in a portal of ice, and using her icey left foor, kicked Dark Link back to where the other heroes were, forming another 20 foot crater.

As the heroes surrounded Dark Link, some hoping he was still alive, others, hoping he was dead so they could poke him with a stick (Samii, Frohman, Death, Livingness, and Lazor), Aqua appeared next to her brother ice in another portal of ice.

"Thats is what mere mortals like you are awarded when you mess in the affairs of the dragon gods of Fire..." Said Nova/Pyro

"...And ice."

"We'd give you all just a warning if 1) We were known for our mercy, 2) You had'nt annoyed us as much, and 3) the elf had'nt cutt of my first tongue, but, because of these things, were just going to kill you all and be done with our tasks." Said Pyro.

Suddenly, the two dragons flew high into the area, and circled each other, pure fire and ice forming around them like an expanding bubble.

"We dead." Said Phil.

"Not just dead, really really fucking dead." Said Orgazmo.

Suddenly, the bubble of fire and ice got even bigger, and looked as if it was going to violently explode.

Ram, knowing very well this could be the end holds onto Samii and says:"Well guys, looks like were fucked." Said Ram.

"I find that humourous." Said Orgazmo.

"Why asked Samii."

"Because, he sayed were fucked, and he's never fucked in his life or his afterlifes!"

Suddenly the bubble gets even bigger, the resulting explosion only seconds away. It will destroy everything within a ten miles radius.

Our heroes, hug for they think will be their last hugs, close their eyes, and await oblivion. All except Death and Livingness that is. The worst the explosion will do is knock them out for several centuries.

The bubble bursts, and all in it's path is destroyed.

TO BE CONTINUEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD..... RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

"Is this heaven?" Asked Dark Link, looking at the the tree line above him. "If so, why does it smell like like crapped pants?"

"Sorry, that was me." Said Ram, he and the otehr heroes next to Dark Link.

The Heroes look around, and suddenly, a half dragon/half man lands infront of them.

"I AM DRACOMAN!!!" Said the creature in an epic voice."I have teleported you all here to the land of Dragons."

"Like on Dragon Tales?" Asked Orgazmo.

"WELLLLLLLL.....IT'S ALOT LESS GAY AND FAMILY FRIENDLY THEN IN THE TELEVISION SERIES ON PBS, BUT, OTHERWISE, YES!" Yelled Dracoman.

"Another dragon! He must be destroyed! Yelled Dark Link, feebly tryong to overcome the broken legs,arms, and pelvis that he had suffered from getting tossed around for a combined total of 107 miles and landing.

"Relax, I mean no harm to you all. If I did, why would I have teleported you here and saved you from certain death?" Asked Dracoman.

"Why indeed o' hybrid.' Said Ram.

"I saved you all because you are the protectors in the prophecy. You all must not die, or andy will will never be able to defeat the dark force that wish to claim his power." Said Dracoman.

"Who is the dark exactly?" Asked Phil.

"He is a powerful being. The most powerful dragon ever to live. The Kaiser Dragon." Said Dracoman, suspencful music playing after he finished speaking, follwed by several gasps from the heroes.

"I know, it's alot to take in at one time." Said Dracoman.

"Not that man! We were gasping because that suspencful music came out of nowhere." Said Ram, the other heores (except Dark Link, who I remind everyone cant walk) peering their heads about, looking for the source of the disembodied music.

*sigh* disregard this post

As the alien slg saw them teleport away, he thought to himself.

"God damnit, why do I always mess up?" He placed a tentacle-eye-thing to his communicator and told Command he'd lost the tergets.

"It's okay," they said, "We can get their signal soon."

"Thank you, Command. See you later." The slug slithered into a trash can to pre-meditate his rescue.

Multi-Kill:

Xandus

steakheart:
As the alien slg saw them teleport away, he thought to himself.

"God damnit, why do I always mess up?" He placed a tentacle-eye-thing to his communicator and told Command he'd lost the tergets.

"It's okay," they said, "We can get their signal soon."

"Thank you, Command. See you later." The slug slithered into a trash can to pre-meditate his rescue.

Suddenly, the explosion occured, destorying everything within a ten mile radius.

Luckiey for the alien, Dracoman teleported him to Dragon land to.

Xandus117:

Multi-Kill:

Xandus

Spoiler: Click to View

"O great master Kaiser, we have failed to bring to capture the boy." Said Nova, and Aqua, in unison, in space, bowing down to a sickly looking Dragon on a throne, whereing a pointy hat."We would understand if you nullified us." They said.

"Nova, Aqua. Do not fret." Said the sickly and old looking dragon, whezzing and coughing."I sent you to earth to test their heroes. Now that I know they can avoid fire and ice, let us see if they can stop Earth and Wind. Stone, Arial, to me!!!' Yelled the dragon, activating his staff, and summoning a massive Dragon amde of stone, and another one, of Air."

"What is thou bidding master?" Asked the two dragons.

"To destroy those that protect the baby dragon, who's power I need to restore my power." Said Kaiser.

"So it is commanded, so shall it be done!" Yelled Stone and Arial, heading towards earth.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Come, let us drink and be merey. If we are to protect the boy, we'll need a few drinks." Said Dracoman, wlaking out of the forest, and into a secluded tavern.

"MEEEEEEAAAAAADDDDD!!!" Yelled Ram, running into the tavern, picking up a barrel of mead, and drinking it down.

"WIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEE!!!" Yelled Orgazmo, doing the same thing as ram, only with a wine barrel.

"CHERRY FLAVORED SUGAR BEER!!!" Yelled Lazor, doing the same thing as Ram and Orgazmo, only with CHERRY FLAVORED SUGAR BEER.

MEANWHILE!

Pyro and Aqua are walking down the mountains.

"Say Aqua, why are we walking when we could be flying?" asked Pyro

"Meh. I felt like walking today." answered Aqua

The two dragons stooped, as a dark figure holding a demonic claymore approached them. Pyro walked up to the dark figure.

"Welcome to our lands, mysterious man!" said Pyro "What brings you do this...OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!"

MEANWHILE!

The Kaiser Dragon is sitting impatiently at his throne.

"I wonder what's taking Pyro and Aqua so long." said the Kaiser Dragon "I think I'll contact them with my magic mirror."

The Kaiser Dragon summoned a giant mirror. He looked through it and saw Aqua running away from something.

"Aqua? Is that you? What the hell is going on?!"

"IT'S THIS GUY!" screamed Aqua "HE JUST RIPPED OUT PYRO'S HEART AND...AAAAHHHH!!!!"

The magic mirror went black for a second, but the image soon came back. On the other side of the mirror was not Aqua, but a warrior of hell dressed in armour carrying a demonic claymore.

"Xandus." said the Kaiser Dragon

"Kaiser? Is that you?" said Xandus, looking through the magic mirror "Well, I'll be damned! I haven't seen you since the battle of Stalingrad! Remember that? Good times."

"Xandus, what the fuck did you do to..."

"Your servants?" said Xandus "I killed them. Their souls tasted very good by the way."

"What are you doing here!" roared the Kaiser Dragon

"Oh, I thought I drop by, see how you were doing, kill a few thousand of your followers, kill my foster son, and steal the dragon prince for myself."

"You bastard! The dragon prince is mine!" roared the Kaiser dragon

"Hahahaha. The hell he is." said Xandus "I've love to chat some more, but I've got heroes to kill."

Xandus shattered the magic mirror and began walking down the mountains.

MEANWHILE, AT THE HEROES LOCATION!

"No beer for me. I'm trying to go dry." said Dark Link "Does the tavern have any pot, cigars, cocaine, gambling machines, and sexy elf prostitutes though?"

"Oh Xandus. You are such a fool to think that even now, you can stop me. For although I was defeated by you and a combined soviet and german air strike and tank blitz, I was far weaker then, what with the recently being ressurected several hundred years after the emperor of Bumeria killed me."

Suddenly, Kaiser activated his staff, and out came his last, and two most powerful servants, the Black (wielding Dark and powerful magic) Dragon, and the Electro dragon (wielding electricity itself).

"Long I have aticipated you, o Xandus, the thorn in my since last time I rised from the dead. I shall make you my serveant Xandus, and, once I gain my full power, will make you suffer the most!" Yelled Kaiser, dispatching the two dragons to capture Xandus.

MEANWHILE!!!

"O where or where is Dark Link at?" Asked Xandus, examining the massive crater the explosive bubble Nova and Aqua made previously.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, he is struck by a bolt of lightning, sent flying several hundred feet into the air, and falls down, face first on the extremely molten and cold ground of the crater.

"Ow!!!! My face is burning up, yet at the same time freezing!!!" Yelled Xandus, temporaliy blinded, unaware of the massive dragon shawdow beneath him.

Suddenly, the shadow became real, and 3 dimensional, and Xandus found himself ontop of the nose of the Black Dragon.

"WTF!?" Yelled Xandus, before the black dragon, using it's mind manipulation powers, easily bypassed Xandu's mental defenses, and began making Xandus a puppet of the Kaiser. Before the black dragon was completed however, Xandus, using every once of mental willpower he had, managed to whack the black dragon in the head with his right fist, lept from atop it's nose, and pulled out his sword.

"Prepare to eat metal dick head!!!" Yelled Xandus, lunging towards the dragon.

However, the Dragon, using its power of intangibility, simply watched as Xandus feebly tried to cut the beast down with his enchanted sword.

Finally the dragon got bored, and said:"My turn." Before summoning dark tendrils from a portal near Xandus which wrapped around him and rendered him motionless, his enchanted blade dropping to the ground.

Suddenly, electro, appearing as a human in a fashion and cloths similiar to Raiden from mortal combat, came down on a blot of lightning, and picked up the blade.

"Ah.... the soul edge. It will serve the master well once he regains his abilities.

"No!!! Let it go!!! It's mine!!!" Yelled Xandus, before the Black Dragon once again bypassed his mental defenses and began making Xandus the Kaisers slave.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Yelled Xandus in agonizing pain.

Suddenly, Xandus awoke from his terrible nightmare, panting, wheezing.

"Damn. No more ogre jam before bed." Said Xandus, going back to sleep, quickly forgetting the nightmare he just had happended.

"Wait a minute, I dont sleep!" Said Xandus

Or.... was it just a nightmare? Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!

As the heroes entered the tavern they noticed that everyone in the room was huddled close to the ground. The only ones standing were two men. One with his back turned and the other manning a Snare drum and some cymbals.

"Everyone down on the ground now!" said the man standing. The voice sounded quite squeaky and didn't sound like a normal person. The man turned around to reveal a wooden puppet in one arm and a Shotgun in the other. Even the puppet had his own little wooden pistol. "Well look who we have here. A couple of farm animals and some guys in halloween costumes." said the puppet in the same squeaky voice.

"Hey! I'm a Ram not a goat!" Said Ram "Now step out of the way! No one get's between me and my happy hour!"

"Gee. I may be the one made of wood, but your the real blockhead." Said the puppet, his punchline quickly followed by a Ba dum tish from the guy on the drums.

"Gee a Ventrillaquist comedy duo I've never seen that before." said Maddawg sensing a strange sense of Irony in his words.

"Are you calling our act unorignal! because if you are-" "What my puppet is trying to say is that we belive that our comedy is quite decent and-" "HEY MEATSACK! We can't talk at the same time! I TALK,YOU TALK,I TALK, YOU TALK!" Said the Puppet to his master. "FOCUS DAMNIT!"

Ba Dum Tish!

"Is he fighting with himself?" Said Dark Link

BA DUM TISH!

"Guys look, just put down the gun and we'll have some nice men put you into a big fluffy room."

BA DUM TI- "THUNDER SHOCK!" Shouted Ram throwing lightning at the Drummer who quickly fried.

"HEY! We needed him! Now we have to find a new drummer for the Mid-West tour!" Said the puppet.

maddawg IAJI:

Please.

"What I think you ought to do is move out of the way, Puppet! Rammy needs to get to his Mead!"
"I'm sorry, but we need to get to some cash!"
"Yeah, I guess lube-cream doesn't pay for itself..." Ram muttered.
"Ram! That's something Orgazmo would be talking about!"
"Yeah! Don't be stealing my material!" Orgazmo cried, rubbing on some lube as he spoke.
"Ahh, makes that thong just that more comfortable!"

"I have a plan!" Livingness yelled. He sprinted at the ventriloquist, grabbed the puppet and held it in the air. "If we seperate them, they're both powerless!"
"Yeah, no," the puppet replied, pointing his gun at Livingness and shooting him through the head.
"It's no puppet, it's a tiny little man!" Livingness declared, springing to his feet.
"Dude, what have you been smoking and where can I get some?" Dark Link asked.
"Phoenix down. That's how I survived a shot to the head." Livingness explained. "But irrelevant, for I have a new plan!" He took Andy and put him on a high shelf. "Do your worst, you vertically challenged evil-doer!"
"Um, did you just forget I was here?" asked the ventriloquist. He reached up onto the shelf and plucked Andy off it. "Also, it's not a midget. I'm just that good at ventriloquy."

Suddenly, the puppet/tiny little man guy/whatever, pulled out a jacket ladden with C4, put on a skeleton costume with bushy eye brows, and a turbin.

"I keeeeel you!!!" Shouted the puppet/tiny little man, his fingers eagerly on the detonator.

"OMIOMIOMIOMIGOD! Were all going to die.....AGAIN!!!" Maddawg, leaping over the bar table, and hitting the deck.

"Oh my god!!! A middle-eastern guy is about to explode near me....AGAIN (UUUUU!!! Look Phil, I made another sexual joke, what you gonna do about it!?)!!!" Yelled Orgazmo, diving into a barrel of wine, hopinh it would protect him from the explosion.