"Thanks once again for mentally scarring me, Emmy." Phil said before punching Orgazmo in the back of the head.

"What the hell was that for?!" He yelled

"It's for your creator. I'm sure he felt it."

Meanwhile in a dark dank basement a dark figure can be seen rubbing the back of his head.

"Ow! Where'd that come from?" He said, looking around the room.

Suddenly, a reaver pulled up next to the car. The heroes looked over and saw Carmine riding the monster.

"Hello there." said Carmine

Carmine rammed the reaver into the side of the car, flipping it over. The heroes got out of the overturned car.

"Who is this motherfucker?" said Dark Link

"HE IS CARMINE!" yelled Maddawg "THE GREAT SATAN AND KILLER OF THE RIFTWORM! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Dark Link pulled out his handgun and shot Carmine in the head. Carmine pulled the bullet out of his skull.

"...the fuck?" said Dark Link

Dark Link unloaded his entire clip into Carmine's head. He pulled out his sword and stabbed him in the heart.

"I see you are pathetically attempting to kill me." said Carmine

"Shut up you!" said Dark Link "You're suppose to be dead!"

Dark Link pulled his fire cystal out of his hat.

"DIN'S FIRE!"

A sphere of fire surrounded Dark Link, which exploded and sent fire everywhere. Carmine blew out the flames on his armour.

"You can't kill me." said Carmine "Also, since when does Dark Link use guns?"

"Wow, that guy looks strong..." Death thought. "We might need some outside help..."
"Dude, no. No enemy in the world's worth-"
"Shut up, Livingness. Look at that guy! He's a clear example of an immortal! And you know, there's nothing Dad hates more than an immortal..." Death flipped open his phone and pressed a few buttons. "Uh... Hi, Dad."
"What is it this time?" asked an angry voice down the line. "Have you spent all your college funds on hemp again?"
"Um, no... Well, yes, but that's not why I'm calling. See, there's this immortal who's trying to kill us-"
"Gah, can this wait? I'm in a meeting right now. Tell you what, I'll be there in 15 minutes. Until then, just cope with it on your own."

15 MINUTES LATER

"Alright, sorry for the delay, traffic was murder- oh," Shinigami, the lord of death said, looking around. The car was in two neat halves, bits of hero were strewn everywhere, and Livingness was running around, doing his best at raising the dead, only to sigh exasperatedly when Carmine killed them again. Death the Kid (being immortal) was managing to subdue Carmine as well as he could, bearing in mind he'd lost both arms, one leg and his intestines were hanging out at an odd angle. "Hi Dad!" he called, hopping up and down on his remaining foot.
"Hi, uncle Shinigami," Livingness said nervously, crawling out from under a rock.
"Hello, boys. Another fine mess you've got yourself into, I see," Shinigami said, indicating the corpses of our heroes.
"Um, yeah, I was just working on fixing that..." Livingness mumbled apologetically.
"Not to worry, I'll take it from here. Lifaga!" Shinigami yelled, raising all the dead, reattaching lost limbs and replacing lost blood and organs in the process. Unfortunately for Death, he never died in the first place, so the healing didn't work on him.
"And now for you." Shinigami continued, turning to face Carmine.

"You think that you can defeat me?" said Carmine

"I'm the god of death!" shouted Shinigami "I can kill anyone! Now prepare yourself."

Shinigami charged towards Carmine.

Two minutes later...

"WHY! WON'T! HE! DIE!" yelled Shinigami, dodging a chainsaw slash

"You may be the god of death, but you cannot kill...THE GOD OF LIFE!" said Carmine

"Carmine is the god of life?!" said Maddawg "Impossible!"

"It's true." said Carmine "It says so in my Uncyclopedia page: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Carmine"

"Great. How the hell do we kill him now?" said Sho

"We don't. We convince him not to kill us." said Dark Link

"What do you mean?" said Ram

"We offer to do something for him, and he doesn't kill us." said Dark link "It seems like a good idea to me."

Dark Link walked up to Carmine.

"What would we have to do to convince you not to kill us?" said Dark Link

"Pay me 200 billion dollars." said Carmine

"WHAT?!?!"

"That's how much Xandus is paying me to kill you." said Carmine

"We don't have that kind of money! Is there anything else we could do? Anything?" said Dark Link

"We'll sell you Orgazmo!" Livingness declared.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I PAY YOU FOR THAT DISGUSTING MORTAL?" shouted Carmine

"Hmm, good point." said Livingness "By the way, why are you yelling?"

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR? IT'S CAPS-LOCK DAY AS OF FIVE MINUTES AGO! EVERYONE HAS TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS." shouted Carmine

"Oh, I see..." said Livingness "I mean...OH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN NOW!"

"SO DO WE ALL HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?" asked Ram

"YES." said Carmine

"I don't see a reason to do this..." Phil said

"DO IT NOW!!" Carmine yelled, pointing his guns at the angel kid.

"OKAY, OKAY!! wait a sec, I'm a frakin angel! I'm already dead! you can't kill what's dead!"

2 seconds later...

"OKAY, I STAND CORRECTED." Phil said, picking himself off the ground.

"Is there a problem down there? you keep disappearing and reappearing on my radar. What's going on?"GOD speaks into Phil's H.a.L.O

Phil looks down at his H.a.L.O and speaks into the receiver.

"OH NOTHING-er-i mean, nothing, just some guy name Carmine won't die, and he keeps killing everyone. Even Shinigami is here and he can't even put a scratch on the guy-"

"Shinigami's there?! I haven't heard from my old Japanese cousin in years! Quick, put the H.a.L.O on speaker!"

Phil puts it on speakerphone and raises his arm to Shinigami.

"Shin, you jap bastard! What's going on man?!"

"God, you limey son-of-a-bitch! S'all good! I mean, there's this unkillable guy who keeps murdering my son and his friends, but other than that, I'm having a good time recently! Hey, remember Vishnu? Man, that guy knew how to party... Anyway, how's things with you?" Shinigami said, as Carmine wrenched Death the Kid's head off and kicked it at Rag.
"Hey, you guys mind keeping it down? On the phone," Shinigami yelled, raising Phil above his head to prove his point.

Suddenly, a massive fireball came down from the sky, at a speed of 10,000 miles per hour,and hit carmine, disenetragting and tearing him apart and continuing onward to crash through 6 LA skyscrappers before landing smack-dab in the middle of LA.

Then, an alien slug appeard from the depths of the meteorite, saying,

"Thank god I got out of there. I was so cramped!

"Oh look, a flaming meteor just hit LA for no apparent reason." said Dark Link

The bits of Carmine began combining with themselves. Carmine was soon reassembled.

"WHO DARES SEND FIREBALLS TO FIGHT ME?!" yelled Carmine "Screw Xandus' money, I need to get revenge on those aliens who sent the meteor and reclaim my honor!"

Carmine ran to the meteor. He pushed the alien aside.

"Out of my way mortal!" barked Carmine

Carmine grabbed the meteor with his hands. He flew into space with it.

"I"M COMING TO GET YOU, ALIEN BASTARDS!!!" he yelled

"Well that takes care of the issue with Carmine." said Ram "What now?"

"I say we attack the D.L.A. HQ in Greece and beat the crap out of Xandus so he doesn't send any more assassins!" said Dark Link

"Sounds good to me." said Frohman

"Shut up Frohman. Nobody cares what you think."

The alin slug sat and watched. He was angry at the man called "Carmine," and sought revenge.

Painful, painful revenge.

"Woah! Carmine man.You can't just walk up and kill them, Aliens are protected under the Union." said Maddawg as he tried to stop Carmine.

"OUT OF MY WAY YOU DISGUSTING LOCUST MORTAL!" Said Carmine as he shoved Maddawg out of the way. Maddawg flew throught the air and hit his head on a nearby rock.

He got up, rubbed his head and yelled "SON OF A RIFTWORM!"

Camrine heard Maddawg and immeaditly ran for cover. "RIFTWORM! WHERE?"

Master Kitty walked next to Maddawg and elbowed for his attention. "Hey Carmine. I think I see a sniper up there."

"WHAT SNIPER! WHERE?" Shouted Carmine who began firing his Lancer in all directions.
"NO IT'S JAMMED! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Maddawg and Master Kitty clutched there sides as they laughed at the idiot gear. Carmine caught on to the cruel joke shouted "YOU DARE LAUGH IN MY PRESENCE I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU FILTHY MORTALS AND USE YOUR SKINS TO WIPE MY A-"

"Hey Carmine! RPG ELEMENTS!"

"GAH WHERE!" Said Carmine as he ran away in terror.

The alien slug contaced the alien slug command.

"I need the following being disintergrated: Carmine."

"Roger, codename steakheart. Proceeding to lauch presision laser strike."

Steakheart slithered away and prepared to watch the fireworks.

"...wait, why am I afraid?" said Carmine "I'm the god of life!"

Carmine turned to Maddawg and Master Kitty, who were laughing their asses off.

"YOU BASTARDS! YOU WILL PAY FOR TRICKING ME!" shouted Carmine

Carmine pulled out the Hammer of Dawn.

"Oh shit." said Maddawg

"EAT DEATH LASER LOCUST SCUM!"

Suddenly, as Carmine was about the aim the Hammer of Dawn, a giant laser sight came down from space.

"Huh. That's weird. I don't remember pressing the trigger..."

The laser sight positioned itself over Carmine. A giant ray of death came down from space.

"Fuck." said Carmine

The laser hit the ground where Carmine stood. The immortal god was undamaged, but the ground beneath him was destroyed. Carmine fell down a 500 kilometer long hole created by the laser.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU DAMN ALIENS..." yelled Carmine as he fell into the center of the Earth

"So, what were we talking about earlier?" said Ram "Something about attacking the D.L.A.'s HQ where Xandus is?"

Steakheart saw only one other solution. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. He slithered up to them and was about to ask for a truce, but the man named Carmine kicked him into the next country.

"For florkung's sake, what does it take to make an ally around here?"

Suddenly, another meteor came crashing into the middle of LA, only, it was'nt a meteor, it was Multi-Kill, having accidently flown into the path of the space laser and getting knocked back to earth.

As he got out of the massive crater his crash caused, which had caused the armored area around his nuts to crack slightly, he he noticed the heroes, and the laien slug thing, hiding behind a fire truck with his X-Ray vision.

"Suit at 98 percent capability." Said Jeffers, Multi-Kill's AI in a loud voice.

"Theres no need to fear citizens of the system, for 'tis ,the very guardian of it." Said Multi-Kill

Suddenly, from behind the fire truck, the alien slug thing lept out and shouted:"Guardian!? So your the one I've come to destroy in order to take over this world!" Said the slug, pulling out a plasma cannon, and firing several bolts at Multi-Kill's head, before realizing that the green protection field around Multi-Kill absorbed his blasts.

"Fool! Do you think the Bumerians just hand out System Guardian Positions like Yahtzee says swear words!!! I earned that position!" Said Multi-Kill, before blowing up the slugs cannon with a single green bolt of radioactive energy.

Carmine, impressed with how he humiliated the slug, came up to Multi-Kill and asked:"Say, your pretty kick-ass. What'da say you and me go on a transcontinental rampage?" Asked Carmine to the Guardian of the System.

"Will their be cake?" Asked Multi-Kill.

"Well, I'm afraid I can only offer you brownies at the time, but after we kill every being that dares challenge us, I figure we'd have the the material to make some.

"Hmmmm... Well my friend, like some fucking asshole rage quiter does right in the middle of every Team Fortress 2 map, I must say:"FUCK YOU!!!"Said Multi-Kill, before picking up Carmine and throwing him towards the moon.

"OH GOD!" said steakheart as he slithered away. PLease don't hurt me!

"I am in a merciful mood. You may leave."

"Oh thank you, tha-"

"BE GONE!"

"Okay!" said steak, hiding in a corner as not to anger this strange being.

Multi-Kill:

"Hmmmm... Well my friend, like some fucking asshole rage quiter does right in the middle of every Team Fortress 2 map, I must say:"FUCK YOU!!!"Said Multi-Kill before using his radioactive powers to open a portal to the Phantom Zone, which swallowedup Carmine.

Xandus117:

Multi-Kill:

"Hmmmm... Well my friend, like some fucking asshole rage quiter does right in the middle of every Team Fortress 2 map, I must say:"FUCK YOU!!!"Said Multi-Kill before using his radioactive powers to open a portal to the Phantom Zone, which swallowedup Carmine.

Um...

MEANWHILE, IN ONE OF THE FEW SKYSCRAPERS IN LOS ANGELES THAT DOESNT HAVE A GIANT HOLE IN IT!!

"My god!!! Master! Multi-Kill has crashed to earth!!!" Yelled CM, looking out the massive window behind the chair he sit in, in his bosses office.

"Yes. It is truely a rare occasion. One that may not come up again anytime soon." Said CM's boss, who's face was shrouded in darkness, and who wore an armoni suit.

"Yes. Imagine what we Bureaucrats could accomplish after studying him. We could wipe out the DLA!!! The very thorn in our great lion foot!!!"

"Contact Odysseus, head of the crime gang known as "Mythos". Tell him to mobalize every creature, hero, and demi-god he leads on central LA, against Multi-Kill!

MEANWHILE, A SMALL BUILDING COLLAPES INFRONT OF OUR HEROES. IN THE SETTLING DUST, THE FIGURE OF A MAN CAN BE EASILEY SEEN....

"Whoa!!! Who the fuck is that!?" Asked Frohman.

Suddenly, the figure picked up what appeared to be a school bu full of kindergarteners, and thrwos them at Multi-Kill, who promptly catches, let the terrifyed children and bus driver get off and throws the bus into the air.

As the dust settled, a scandinavian looking man, completely naked with his willy flapping in the wind yell's:"I AM BEOWULF!!!", before a mediterranean man, clad in the armor worn by the greeks at the time of the Illiad, charged from behind Multi-Kill, shouted:"Four!", and used his warhammer to knock Multi-Kill 100 feet in the air, through the 20 floor of the skyscrapper CM and his master were in, and face first into the Hollywood Walk of fame.

"Haha!!! No man, machine, or combination of both can stand against mighty Ajax!!!" Yelled the warhammer wielding man.

As he got up, he noticed the imprint his face made in the concrete, and used his fingers to quickly carve out the name Multi-Kill, covering the name:"Micheal Jackson".

"Beowulf and Greeks? What the hell is going on here?" said Dark Link

Ajax turned to Dark Link. He pointed his hammer at him.

"You, boy! Standing over there! Do you think you can stand up to the mighty Ajax?" said the greek warrior

"Um, what?" said Dark Link

"I am challenging you to a battle!" said Ajax "Accept or lose your honor!"

"Honor is for wimpy heroes, but I'll fight you anyways." said Dark Link

Dark Link walked towards Ajax. The greek soldiers surrounded the two warriors, forming a circle around them.

"FIGHT! FIGHT ! FIGHT!" chanted the greek soldiers

"Do you have anything to say before we begin battle?" said Ajax

"Yes. I'd like to say one thing..."

Dark Link reached into his hat and pulled out his fire crystal.

"DIN'S FIRE"

A sphere of flames surrounded Dark Link, which exploded and sent waves of fire at the greek who were surrounding him. Ajax lifted his shield just in time to block the flames. He turned around, to see only a few of his men left alive.

"YOU SCUM!" yelled Ajax "I"LL KILL YOU!!!"

Ajax charged at Dark Link with his hammer. Dark Link reached into his hat and pulled out a crystal with an icy wisp in it. He pulled back his arm and then bowed, moving his two arms apart.

"NAYRU'S LOVE!"

A magic shield surrounded Dark Link. Ajax smashed his hammer furiously at Dark Link, but left no scratch on his body.

"WHAT TRICKERY BE THIS?!" yelled Ajax, swinging his hammer at Dark Link

Ajax hit Dark Link on the head, but nothing happened. Several soldiers threw spears at Dark Link, which bounced off him. Dark Link pulled out his sword.

"My turn."

Dark Link sliced both of Ajax's legs, causing him to fall down in pain.

"What!? You cheap bastard!!! Slicing the limbs off of someone who knocked the very Guardian of the system half way across one of the largest cities of america with a mere and common enchanted weapon, and who's very armor deflects such blows out to be impossible!!! My god, this must be the work of the Illogician!!!" Said Ajax, before crawling into the sewers, and yelling "Achilles, Perseus, we require aid!!!"

Suddenly, a man with wings on his greek shoes (Perseus), appears, seeminlgy out of no where, infront of Dark Link, a man in armor similar to Ajax's, but wielding a spear (Achilles), shield bashes Dark Link high itno the air.

As Dark Link gets higher, the Man with the wings on his greek shoes, appears above him and shouts:"Feel the sting of the sword of Zeus foul Elf!!!" Suddenly, from the man's sword, lighting shoots out, shocks Dark Link, and knocks him into the ground with gret force, causing him to breakthe layer of concrete above the sewer, and crash into the sewer.

As Dark Link gets up,he is surrounded by ninja mutant reptiles.

"Whoa!!! This bro looks freaky!" Yelled the one with an orange mask

"Chya." Said the one with the blue mask.

"Tubular!" Said the one with the red mask.

"Regean-omics!!!" Yelled the one with the purple mask.

Before Dark Link can slice these teenaged mutant ninja turtles, Beowulf lept down, picked up the turtle with the orange mask, through him at the others, knocking them down,picked uo Dark Link and said:"I AM BEOWULF" Before kicking Dark Link, with great force, down a 500 foot waterfall of piss and shit.

MEANWHILE!!!

Holy Shit!!! Can Dark Link survive something like that!?" Asked Phil, before getting hit with a chunk of concrete and knocked into Ram, Rag, lazor, Samii, and Orgazmo, thrown by one of the 10 cyclops's that lept from a the roofs of several nearby buildings.

"Foul wierd one eyed men, feel the wrath of Thor!!! Thors Stomp!!!" Yelled Ram, stomping the ground, causing several bolts of lightning to strike the Cyclopses, kicking up massive amounst of dust.

As the dust settled however, the beats still stood.

"By odins coolio pimp beard!!! How on earth could you survive such an atack!?" Yelled Ram.

"Fool! WHo do you think thought Zeus how to use lightning!?" Asked Perseus, as he and the Cyclopsess zapped all of the heroes accept ram.

Phil gets up from the attack perviously bestowed upon him. He rubs his head then gets an idea. He contacts GOD through his H.a.L.O.

"Hey GOD, you know how my right hand glows?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Yeah, can you lower it's power? I don't want to destroy their earth (or be accused of godmodding)"

"Oh. Ok.

Phil's right hand dims. A smile stretches across his face. And he leaps into the air. He points one of his fingers at the crowd of cyclopes.

"This hand of mine glows with an semi-awesome power! It's burning grip tells me to defeat you! Take this! MY LOVE!, MY ANGER!!, AND ALL OF MY SORROW!!!

SHINING FINGER!!

Then a small blue beam shoots out of his finger and explodes through several cyclopes, killing them. Unfortunately for him, there was a shitload left to fight.

"Damn." Phil says, landing on the ground

"So anyone has an idea on how to beat these things?" Phil asks

"Have no fear, the japanese god of Death is here!" Shinigami yelled, leaping into the air and throwing his scythe at the cyclopes, causing an explosion of pure matter to wipe out about half of them.
"Shinigami, my old foe!" yelled Hades, the greek god of death, rising from the ground. "It is time for you to die!"
"Quite the contrary, Hades, you swine!" called Lich, the arch-fiend of death, dropping from the sky like a meteor, "the only one dying today is you!"
"Rather unlikely, chums," said the Grim Reaper, forming out of nothing, "You see, every one of you shall die by my hand."
And thus, the four incarnations of death battled, as Death the Kid and Livingness the Youth watched in awe.

Meanwhile, Dark Link was falling down the sewer waterfall. He looked down a group of alligators at the bottom.

"Here comes our meal boys!" said one of the alligators "Open wide!"

Just as Dark Link was bout to hit the water below, a dragon flew below him, which he landed on. He realized that the dragon was Andy.

"Andy! You came to save me!"

"I couldn't leave you behind!" said Andy "You're my bestest friend!"

Dark Link looked at Andy. He was slightly larger than a horse.

"Wow, you've grown." said Dark Link

Andy flew out of the sewer, with Dark Link on his back. The cyclopes turned to the dragon, who breathed out flames at the cyclopes.

"And you can breath fire apparently. That's nice."

Dark Link turned his head around and saw the gods of death battling each other.

"What the hell happened here?"

Unfortunately for andy and Dark Link, the cyclopses still lived, for it would take more then the fire of of a baby dragon to defeat the Mad-Mountains. The Cyclops's then shocked the duo, and, as they fell, threw several chunks of concrete on them.

MEANWHILE, THE GREEK HEROES AND NORSE HERO GATHER IN THE SEWER, AROUND AJAX!

"By the gods! How can we defeat the living embodiement of death!?" Asked Achilles.

"Thats the thing. Unless were gods,we can't. Our only hope is to capture Multi-Kill ,that Hades can distract Death the Kid Long enough, and that we beat it more then a Micheal Jackson song." Said Perseus.

"I AM BEOWULF!!!" Yelled Beowulf.

"Quite yourself! And put some cloths on for your Odin's sake!!!" Yelled Ajax.

As Dark Link was falling, Andy flew below him again and saved him. Andy flew out of the sewer and above the cyclopes.

"Damn cyclopes." said Dark Link "Luckily I've got some tricks left up my sleeve."

Dark Link's eyes went black. A darkness surrounded him, covering his entire body in shadow.

"Time to have a taste of my true power! The power of shadows!" shouted Dark Link

Suddenly, three Dark Links erupted from the darkness. They looked exactly the same as the original Dark Link. The doppelgangers teleported onto the heads of the cyclopses, stabbing them in the eyes.

"ME EYE!!!!" screamed a cyclops as he was brutally stabbed to death

Soon, every cyclops in the area was dead. The shadowy doppelgangers jumped back to Dark Link, and disappeared. The darkness surrounding Dark Link went away.

"That takes care of that." said Dark Link "Now, what's up with those Gods of Death battling it out?"

MEANWHILE!!!

"OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!!! IT'S MULTI-KILL!!!" Yelled several fangirls before shrieking like crazy persons and dog piling on top of Multi-Kill.

"Girls, please. Anyother time I would enjoy your nerdy company, but 1) Like I've said before, ever since the incident, I havent felt anything down in my testicular area. Hell, I'm not even sure my man-hood is still there, much less able to cum from anything less then an exploding nuke, and 2) I'm in the middle ofa fight.

Suddenly, from the road right next to Multi-Kill, the Greek heroes and Norse Hero lept out, and surrounded Multi-Kill, the geek fangirls immediately diving into the nearest dumpster.

"Multi-Kill, by the will of the greatest action hero of any Mythos, Odysseus, you are to be captured!!!" Yelled Achilles.

Suddenly, Multi-Kill unleaShed a green radioactive energy AOE attack, which knocked back the heroes some.

"Bring it on you oily Greek and Viking Bastards!!!" Yelled Multi-Kill, before picking up two lamp posts and wielding them as if they were wooden staffs.

MEANHWILE!!!

"Sir! It appears the son of death himself is fihting the bionically enhanced, dark magic wielding super soldier Hades (I wont acknoledge Pluto, because he and Hades are the same person Death!!!) !!!" Yelled CM.

"Dont worry my apprentice. Death's son may be powerful and extremely difficult to kill, but, if his father allows it, he will make him mortal. He will still be difficult to kill, but, killable." Said CM's master, before disapearing in a flash of light and thunder.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Damn, that super soldier sure can take a punch and an energy blast. But my son is immortal, and, while not being as powerful as he he fights, will eventually win from shear attrition, do to his immortality." Said Deaths father, Shinmigami, AKA the japanese grim reaper, watching the battle unfold from the well of spirits.

Suddenly, in a flash of light and thunder, CM's master appeared on the opposite end of the well, his body still covered by darkness.

"Hello old friend." Said Shinmigami, as he watched as Hades used Dark Tentacles to lift up a massive statue of cracked.com's massive ego, and threw it at Death the kid.

"Greetings Jap Death. I see your watching your son and one of Odysseus's servants battle it out." Said CM's master, looking into the well himself.

"Lets cut the small talk shall we? What have you come here for?" Asked Shinmigami.

"I'm come to ask you to make your son mortal. Not a pushover, not a light wieght, but mortal.

"Why would I do such a thing?" Asked Death.

"Because, no one, except you and the gods deserves to be truley immortal. Not even your son." Said CM's master.

For a few seconds, the japanese version of death pondered. Sensing that Shinmigami would turn down his request, CM's master then said:"How about this? You give your son a weakness, a chink in the immortality he wears, something, that while, can't be easiley obtained, can kill him, and send him back to your realm if he is'nt careful? In return for making your boy killable, I will fetch your scythe for you." Said CM's master, pulling out a magic contract, and pen.

"Hmmmm..... sounds like a deal to me..." Said Death, signing the contract.

"Good...." Said CM's master, moving his head out of the darkness, towards the ominous light of the well of spirits, revealing himself to be non-other then....

DARKSEID!!! THE NEW GOD OF EVIL!

MEANWHILE!!!

"I AM BEOWULF!!" Yelled Beowulf, punching Multi-Kill into the ground with boxing gloves made out of H3 Hummers.

sam g:

Ahem. A word, Multi-Kill?

MEANWHILE, DARKSIED OPENS UP A BOOM-TUBE TO THE WORLD OF SPARTIA, AND SENDS HIS APPRENTICE IN THE WAYS OF EVIL, CORPRATE MAN, INTO THE WHITE PORTAL, ON A MISSION TO RETRIEVE SHINMIGAMI'S SCYTHE FROM ARES/MARS, THE WEAKENED, YET STILL GREAT GREEK AND ROMAN GOD OF WAR.

"Spartia, you'll never find a more wrethed place of blood and murder, except on earth and Apokalips that is." Said Darksied inside of CM's mind, a pychis link between both minds being forged before CM entered the tube.

"I'll say! The West and East coast rappers on this world have broken into a full on war, with the dead zombie's of Tupac and Biggie Smalls being the leaders!" Said CM, flying like Superman.

"California love fatass nigga!!!" Yelled Tupac, before busting several hundred caps into Biggies small's ass with his two mac-11's, which he dual-wielded.

"Ow!!! That hurt slightly bitch!!!" Said 50 Cent, who caught 9 bullets that went through Biggies butt, standing behind biggie.

"Fuck you! You were the worst rapper in G-Unit nigga!!!" Yelled Tupac, before putting more holes in 50 Cent then swiss cheese with the remaining ammo in his Mac-11's.

MEANWHILE, HADES WAS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED BY THE INCARNATIONS OF DEATH!!! (BECAUSE HE ISNT REALLY THE GOD HE'S NAMED AFTER).

"HOLD HIM STILL YOU ASSHOLE!!!" Yelled Lich, as the Western Grim Reaper held Hades, before beinning to jab Hades in the gut.

"Whoa!" Said Orgazmo. "Think we should help Hades?"

"Nah..." Said death.

"Death, despite working for an criminal organization that seems to recruit only mythical figures and creatures, Hades has life. And life must be protected! Right uncle?" Said livingness, turing his head to his uncle, who he thought was on his left.

However, upon turning, he relized that his uncle had left.

Suddenly, a bright light came down from the heavens. Samuel L. Jackson appeared in front of the heroes.

"Hey guys." said Samuel L. Jackson to the heroes "God send me. He said there were a bunch of gods, immortals, and heroes fighting in a massive battle."

"Yeah, it's right over there." said Dark Link

Dark Link pointed towards a group of god-like beings fighting each other. Samuel L. Jackson flew over the gods and heroes.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled the majestic angel "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING IMMORTAL BEINGS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING DIMENSION!"

Samuel L. Jackson fired his gun. The holy bullet split and transformed into three portals.

"It's time to open some gateways!" said the Samuel L. Jackson

The angel lifted his hand up. The three portals began sucking up the heroes and gods, including Darkseid, Shinigami, Corporate Man, Samael, Hades, Beowulf, the rappers, and the greek heroes. The portals closed after sucking in the mighty beings.

"AND STAY IN YOUR DIMENSIONS, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Samuel L. Jackson yelled down a closing portal "IF I SEE YOU AROUND HERE AGAIN, I"M GETTING THE ANGEL ARMY TO KICK YOUR ASSES!"

"Thanks for the help, Samuel L. Jackson." said Dark Link

"No problem." said the angel "I'd love to stay, but I've got some demons to kill."

Samuel L. Jackson flew into the sky and disappeared.

"Wait! Samuel L. Jackson! Take us with you!" Death and Livingness yelled, leaping up and down and waving their arms.
"Sorry, boys... Samuel L. Jackson's going to a place us regular people aren't meant to see..." Dark Link said wisely.
"What the hell do you mean, "regular people"?!" Death asked angrily. "I can't die, Livingness can raise the dead, you store guns in your hat, Phil's an angel, Rag's a fallen angel, Ram's a deity of Thor in goat form, Orgazmo's- Oh," Death stopped, noticing the look in Dark Link's eyes. "So that's what you mean..." Death turned to the sky. "God bless you, Samuel L. Jackson. God bless everyone."
"And God bless you, Death the Kid," a wonderful voice, the sort of voice that could stop wars, replied.

"So, what now?" said Ram

Suddenly, a peasant carrying a pitchfork ran in front of the heroes. He turned and pointed at Andy.

"By the gods, it's the dragon prince!" said the peasant "Which one of you is the rider of this magnificent beast?"

"Well I adopted him. Does that count?" said Dark link

The peasant grabbed Dark Link's hand and shook it vigorously.

"It's great to meet you, mister dragon rider sir!" said the peasant "We need your help to save us from the coming darkness!"

"Um, what?" said Dark Link

The peasant pulled out a scroll.

"It is written in the ancient scrolls of [insert ancient medieval fantasy thing] that a group of heroes will come to save us from [insert Dark Lord] and his [insert orcs or demons]. One of the heroes will be an evil boy who has tamed the dragon prince..."

"That's me, I guess." said Dark Link, petting Andy

"...another will be one of Thor's disciples..."

"Hey, I'm one of Thor's disciples!" said Ram

"...there will be one who cannot die and one who can bring the dead back..."

"That's us!" said Death and Livingness

"...there will be an angel of light and an angel of darkness..."

"That must be me and Rag." said Phil

"...one will be a monster..."

"I am not a monster!" said Maddawg "I'm an alien!"

"...and one will be a master of sex."

"That's me for sure." said Orgazmo

"So, does this mean that we are heroes of propecy, or some crap like that?" said Dark Link

"Indeed, dragon rider." said the peasant

"So, when is this Darkness that we have to fight coming?" said Ram

"In about two seconds."

Suddenly, a nearby volcano erupted, and armies of orcs and/or demons could be seen in the distance.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Well, that was fucktarded! This dimension is our home!!! Yelled Achilles, he and the other emembers of Mythos now gathered inside Odysseus office.

"Man, who ever posted that thing about Samuel L Jackson must have flunked 3rd grade reading comprehenion." Said Oddyseus.

"I AM BEOWULF!" Shouted Beowulf, holding the inconscious body of Multi-Kill.

"Well, at least we got what we came to LA for. The only question remaining is where the fuck is CM and Darksied?"

MEANWHILE, IN HELL!!!

"Well this sucks." Said CM, being chained to the ground.

"This is stupid..." Sho said looking at the giant army of stuff
"Where have you been!?" Maddawg questioned
"I WAS TRAPPED BEHIND THE WALLS OF TEXT OKAY!?" Sho replied "Now, I say we just drop a nuke on em."
"Ok... Where do we get said nuke?" Ram asked
"And how do we get high enough off the ground to avoid the explosion" Rag asked
"And what about all the civilians?" Phil asked
"And what about-" Livingness started to say
"FINE! Someone else come up with a better idea then damn!" Sho said