Meanwhile... is a solar system a medium distance away....

"Why have you summoned here to sacred Spores (name of the planet)?" Asked a brutsh looking powered armoed figure, inside a purple colored thrown room, kneeling to the Emperor, who was concealed by a shadow.

"I summoned you here, because to the enemies of my my empire, especially to the dreaded Bumerians, you are the Maurauder, the Doom Bringer... the greatest bandit/best fighter they have ever seen. To me however, your most important quality is that you are a patriotic Sporian, your actions proving that your love for the empire is second, only to mine."

The brute stood and stepped 4 massive steps closer to the emperor.

"What else?" Asked the brute.

"Good of you to ask." Said the Emperor, standing up, still concealed in shadows, his silohoutte only partly visible.."As you are probaly already aquanted with, the Bumerians are our biggest competitor in the galaxy. Both of our colonies are becoming so close to eachother that if either of the empires is to survive, a war must eventually break out." Said the Emperor pausing.

"Let me guess, you want me attack a certain target, am I right?" Asked the brute.

"If this were any other empire we're dealing with, ye. But these are the Bumerians. In a mere year, they reduced the once proud Qo-Sivian civilization to utter ruins. No, a threat like the Bumerians requires more indirect conflict."

"Then what is my task my lord?" Asked the brute.

"Your's is a simple one. I require that you manage to bypass a somewhat large flotilla of Bumerian ships in the Alpha Centuari System, and make it to a planet in the closest system."

"For what?" Asked the brute.

"To retrieve a object emitting a very familar energy signature." Said The Emperor, holding out a holo chart, which Titanous then recieved and read.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Yuk!!! I gottsa puke all over meesh!" Yelled Ram, drunkenly, before vomiting all over everyone in the room himself, tripping on the bile emitted from his mouth, andd falling asleep.

"So anyway..." said Ram, who had woken up immediately after passing out "There I was, sitting on my couch..."

Suddenly, the tavern doors were blasted open. In walked Dark Link, Maddawg, Sho, Grimm, and Revan.

"Hows the hell dish you guys gets here?" said Ram, still drunk

"We used fast travel." said Dark Link

Dark Link pulled out a pistol and aimed it at Ram's head.

"Give us the amulet, or you die." he said

"Why do you even need the amulet?" asked Rag

"The Amulet of Akatosh creates a magic barrier around Tamriel, which keeps dangerous forces out." said Dark Link "We need to destroy the amulet, so that the D.L.A. can send an army of Daedra through Oblivion Gates into this world and take it over."

"Oh, that makes sense." said Rag "By the way, since when does Dark Link use guns?"

"Uh...shut up." said Dark Link

Dark Link shot Rag in the foot.

"Dammit! That hurts!" yelled Rag

"Well, the thing bout the Amulet is....we don't have it. We left it with Tights man back in the castle."
"Uh....oh. Well, sorry to have wasted your time." Dark Link said with an embarrassed smile, taking the gun of Ram's head.
"Hey, no problem, I can see why you might think thatHEADBUTT TO GUT!"
Ram dashed out of the tavern, away from the bent-double and cursing D. Link. He rushed back into the castle, grabbed the amulet, and rushed back out. "Okay...now what to do with this thing...."

Suddenly, a large space ship popped into existence over the village.
"Scuse me," asked a brutish looking alien, looking through a port-hole of the ship, "but could you point me to the Alpha Centuari System?"
"Uhhhh....that way?" Ram said, pointing up. "And here's a gift for yah!" he yelled, throwing the amulet at the alien.
"Gee, thanks!" the creature said, beginning to rise into orbit.
However, when he entered the atmosphere, the protective barriers of the spell began to malfunction, blasting the whole space-ship to pieces. The amulet then soared and landed in a nearby swamp.

"What now?" Dark Link asked cathing his breath from rams blow.
"I say we go kill the aliens! They could be endangered! Or helpful to the world!" Sho said
"Uhhh no." Maddawg said flatly. "We need to get the amulet!"
"Not before we do! We won't let you get your way!" Ram said
"Why not?" Grimm asked "We never get to win...."
"Well, lets start the race!" Sho said grinning
"We want that too!" One of the aliens said
"Didn't you guys fly away with the ship?" Asked ram?
"We fell out when you blew it up!"
"Oh... Sorry bout that...." Ram said sheepishly
"Ok, NOW let the race begin!" Sho said starting to run

"Not so fast!" Death the Kid yelled, sprinting after Sho with Livingness hot on his tail. He dropped to the ground, grabbed a stone and threw it at the back of Sho's head, all without breaking his stride. Livingness had somehow managed to find a motorcycle somewhere, and he plowed it into the back of Grimm before doing a wheelie and continuing onwards.

Livingness steered his motorcycle towards Dark Link, trying to run him over. Dark Link pulled out a crystal with a green wisp inside it. He pulled his arm back and lifted the crystal in the air.

"FARORE'S WIND!"

Dark Link disappeared, leaving a flash of green light behind.

"Um, where did he go?" asked Livingness

"Above you." said Dark Link

Livingness looked up and saw Dark Link falling towards towards with a sword. Dark Link fell on top on Livingess and impaled him in the back with the sword.

"HOLY SHIT!" yelled Livingness "YOU RAMMED A FREAKIN' SWORD THROUGH ME!"

Dark Link pulled out his sword and kicked Livingness off his motorcycle, stealing it for himself.

"Hurry!" yelled Dark Link, driving on his new motorcycle "We need to get the amulet!"

The various surviiving alien species aimed their plasma rifles and laser pistols at Dark Link, and fired.

Unfortunately for them, using hsi swords, Dark Link deflected their energy blasts back at them, and watched as they fried in a bombardment of plasma and laser.

From the wreckage of a nearby ship, movement was seen, and suddenly, from out of the wreckage leapt out the previously aforementioned brute in powered armor, who landed on Dark Link, with a force that caused a 10 foot area crater to appear.

As Dark Link was unconsious,the brute lept towards the amulet, and picked it up.

He then turned towards Ram, with a look that instilled a fear in ram, who then proceeded to run the other way.

But, within the confines of several seconds, Ram felt himself being picked up and slammed into the earth.

The brute said:"That is what you recieve for trying to destroy the great Tianous worm!!!!!" Yelled the brute.

"Now..." said the alien "With this amulet, I shall..."

The alien was cut off, as the sound of screaming was heard throughout the city. The alien looked up and saw Gordon Frohman falling from the sky.

"Oh. My. God." said the alien

"INCOMING!!!" yelled Maddawg

The heroes and villains leaped out of the way as Frohman came crashing to the earth. Frohman fell on top of the alien, crushing him and sending a shockwave that destroyed everything in a five meter radius.

"Ooooh..." said Frohman "That hurt..."

"Frohman!" said Dark Link "How the hell did you get here?"

"I...don't know..." said Frohman

Frohman looked down and saw the brute crushed beneath him.

"Get this idiot off me." said the brute

Dark Link kicked the brute in the face and took the amulet from it.

"Alright, now all we have to do is destroy the amulet and Xandus will send in the Daedra." said Dark Link

"May I have the honors?" asked Revan

Revan pulled out his lightsaber and stabbed the amulet. The amulet shattered into a thousand pieces. The sky turned red and lightning appeared overhead.

"That can't be good." said Ram

An oblivion gate opened, letting out an army of daedra.

"Well, we're fucked." said Rag

Titanous, using his amazing strength, picked up Frohoman, and used his body to smack all the main characters into the oblivion gate, and, with Frohman in hand, lept in after them, the deadric army, going back in to defend the relam of oblivion from such a powerful being.

10 minutes of long loading screens later...

"Ho-ly-shit..." Orgazmo, popping his head out of the safety Samii's massive ass provided him for the last 30 or so posts, looking at the molten rivers of lava and sharp spires of this relam of oblivion.

"Huh." Said Maddawg stareing at the landscape."It's like a postcard. Dear buddy. Kicking Ram and Angel ass.Wish you were here."

"So this is what obliving looks like?" Said Sho. "I was expecting more flying drag-"

RAWWRR

"Never mind." said Sho looking up at an army of dragons emerging from the tower to the north.

"Oh great were Fucked! WE ARE ROYALLY FUCKED!" Said Grim panicing.

Maddawg looked at the group and let out long sigh. He grabbed Grim by the head and threw him in the direction they came in. He immeaditly disseapered into the Gate and the rest of the group followed.

BACK IN CYRODILL

"WE DID IT! WE DEFEATED THE UNSC! THE GREAT JOURNEY CAN BE COMPLETED!" Said Titanous who began laughing unaware of the Heroes approaching right behind him.

"AHAHAHA!AHAHAHA *Bones breaking and blood flying* AHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" said Titanous who's legs were cut off by Maddawg.

"One second." He said pointing at the group as he grabbed Titanous and dragged him into Oblivion.

BACK IN OBLIVION!

Maddawg dragged Titanous toward the lava lake and held him over it.

"Any last words" said Maddawg toward Titanous whose head was over the lake.

"Go to He-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Said Titanous as his head was dunked into the lake.

*Lifts him up*

"DEAR GOD IT FUCKING BURNS! IT FUCKING BURNS!"

*Puts him back in*
*Lifts him up*

"AHHHHH MY EYES! MY EYES ARE MELTING!"

*Puts him back in*
*Lifts him up*

"WHYYYY ARE YOU DOING THIS!"

*Puts him back and keeps him there until he stops moving.*

Maddawg lifted the Brute from the lava and saw how all of the skin had melted off and only a skull remained.

"Sorry didn't quite catch that."

"So the amulet is destroyed, and it opened a portal to a whole new world. Now what do we do?" Phil said after not talking for a while.

"Ey, don' look at meh" Rag said

"Well that's just great. Good fuckin job Revan, now we're stranded, with nowhere to go and nothing to do!" Phil said frustrated

"Well, we can fight those dragons." Ram said, pointing in their direction.

"Oh yeah, i forgot those" Phil said, transforming his H.a.L.O into his infinity staff.

"Sooo...are the villains gonna fight them too?"

Everyone armed themselves for the attack from north.

"Wait, why would we want to help you?" said Dark Link

"Because we're about to get killed by dragons and daedra?" answered Phil

"Wrong. YOU are about to be killed by dragons and daedra." said Dark Link "Those monsters are under control of Xandus, and will never hurt us."

Suddenly, a massive fireball was sent flying towards Dark Link. He rolled out of the way, and the fireball hit Grimm.

"Okay, maybe they will try to kill us." said Dark Link

Meanwhile...

Xandus is sitting at his desk. His phone rings and he picks it up.

"Hello?" said Xandus

"Hey Xandus, it's Arthas."

"Arthas man, how's it going?" said Xandus

"Listen Xandus, I've got some bad news." said Arthas "You know that group of villains you recruited for your Hellfire group?"

"Yeah." said Xandus

"Well, you have to kill them all."

"Why?"

"Because it turns out that broke the amulet of akatosh." said Arthas

"Weren't we suppose to break it?"

"No, you were suppose to steal it and bring it back here so we could control it's powers."

"Crap." said Xandus "My bad."

"Well now you have to kill those villains you hired for screwing up."

"I can't kill them! My foster son/dark apprentice is with them!"

"Do it or we'll kick you out of the D.L.A." said Arthas

".........fine, I'll send an army of daedra and dragons to kill them."

Back in Oblivion

"So what now?" said Revan

"I'll tell you what now!" Death yelled, grabbing Revan by the throat with his robotic arm and throwing him at the dragons. "We run like hell!"
Wise Livingness followed suit, tripped Grimm over and kicked him towards the fire-breathing menaces. He looked around for more human sacrifices, and his eyes came to rest on Dark Link, who pulled a gun out of his bag. "You do, you die."
Livingness changed his mind and decided on a different target, that of Sho, who was absent-mindedly picking his nose. Livingness pulled his trusty wrench out of his pocket and smacked Sho in the face with it, then picked him up off the ground and flung him Donkey Kong-style at the nearest daedra.
"Those who with to live, follow me!" Death cried, hopping onto Ram's back and riding off into the sunset.

"Do I look like your Princess Pony, Chump?" Ram demanded, kicking Death off of him.
"And screw the sunset! It'll give us a burn. We need to head for the gate!" Ram cried, rushing for it.
Suddenly, one of the larger dragons landed in front of our heroes, letting out a mighty roar.
"GAHH! Kill the small one, it's of no use to us!" Death cried, throwing Lazor Dog at the mighty beast.

"A dragon, eh?" said Dark Link "I'll handle this."

Dark Link pulled out his wind crystal.

"FARORE'S WIND!"

Dark Link disappeared, leaving a green light behind. He appeared on top of the dragon.

"Now, time to find the weak point..."

Dark Link spotted a purple crystal on the dragon's back. Navi appeared above Dark Link.

"Hey, look!" said Navi "It's an obvious weakness!"

Dark Link pulled out his sword, which bursted into flames. He stabbed the sword into the crystal. The dragon yet out a massive roar and fell to the ground, dead.

"Well, that was easy." said Dark Link

"Uh, you might want to turn around." said Maddawg

Dark Link turned around and saw eleven more dragons.

"Crap."

The dragons landed next to their behemoth relative, poking it pathetically.
"Mamma....mamma, why won't you wake up?" one of them said, a note of confusion in it's voice.
One of the smaller dragons went up to Dark Link and asked him "Mister, why won't Mamma wake up?"
"Uhh....what was your Mamma trying to do?"
"Why, she was bringing a basket of goodies to you guys, to welcome to you to the neighbor hood." it said, holding up a basket of treats and bread.
"FOOD!" Lazor cried, jumping into the basket and chowing down.

Disregard

"Dark Link, how could you do such a horrible thing!" yelled Ram "That dragon was trying to be nice to us, and you deice to kill her and turn her children into orphans!"

"Hey, how was I suppose know she wasn't hostile?" said Dark Link "Man, I feel really awful about this."

"Is momma going to wake up?" the baby dragon asked Dark Link

"Um...well you see, your mother is going to be asleep for a long time, so..."

"So Dark Link here is going to take care of you!" said Ram, interrupting Dark Link

"Wait, what?"

"YAY! I GET A NEW FRIEND!" cheered the baby dragon

The baby dragon tackled Dark Link to the ground and began licking him.

"Ram, why did you say I would take care of them?" said Dark Link

"Hey, you killed his mother, it's the least thing you can do."

"Uh..." moaned Dark Link "I hate children. Especially dragon children."

MEANWHILE, IN A SOLAR SYSTEM A MEDIUM DISTANCE AWAY....

"Gods damn it! What's taking Titanous so long!? I need whatever magic artifact is in the Sol system in order to power my search for the ever elusive pieces of the Monarch, so that I may finally have the power to make those pompous asshole Bumerians bow beneath me, and take the boot I shall press upon their faces with a smile!!!!" Yelled the emperor, firing of psychic, auric, and mystic bolts around his chamber.

Suddenly, 10 lizard like aliens entered the room, and knelt.

"Sir, we bring bad tidings. Our master, Titanous, has been killed, thrown into the lava of a hellish dimension accessible on the third planet from the sun. A world the local's call earth."

The emperor merely stood there. But, seconds after recieving the news, he burst out, and with his eyes, let out a beam of auric energy that killed 9 of the mercs.

Before he blasted the final one, the lizard shouted:"Wait!!!I said Titanous is dead! I did'nt say we did'nt manage to aquire what we were sent to!" Said the lizard man, pulling out the sigil stone from the main spire of Mehrunes Dagon himself.

The emperor, using his telekinetic abilities, took the stone from the lizards scaley hands.

"Yes... I sense great power locked within this stone... more then enough to summon the great being, that we Sporians worship and call:"The Kaiser Dragon" upon the Bumerians." Said the Emperor, the camera know including the massive stone figure of the Kaiser Dragon behind him, which looked like a cross between blue eyes white dragon from Yugi-Oh and the quantumsaurus rex from Power Rangers Time Force.

"So...I'll just be leaving now....." Said the lizard man, before stepping into a telekinetc barrier summoned by the emperor, and turning back towards the emperor.

"Non sense my scaley friend! Efforts such as yours require a great reward." Said the emperor, using his telekinesis to move the lizard closer to him.

"What kind?" Asked the lizard man, after taking a long gulp.

"Why, how kind of you to ask...." Said the Emperor, before laughing maniacally.

MEANWHILE!!!

"What the fuck?" Asked Samii, as cosmos appeared infront of our heroes, and as the villains were teleported next to them.

"YOU HAVE DEFIED OUR PREVIOUS AGREEMENT!!!" Shouted the Dragon, with a boom that knocked the heroes and villains into eachother.

Orgazmo's sticking his head out of Samii's ass then said:"What! You think we wanted to go back in time!!! It's that wierd, ape like insectoid, and those cock sucking assholes over their!!!" Shouted Orgazmo, pointing to Maddawg and the other villains.

"I find that ironic, considering your head is sticking out of an asshole asshole!!!" Yelled Maddawg, preparing to lunge at Orgazmo, but being blasted by a bolt of cosmic energy from cosmos that almost made him lose consciousnes.

"STOP YOUR PETTY INFIGHTS YOU LITTLE IDGETS!!! OR I WILL SMITE THEE WITH EVEN MORE OF THE GREAT POWER COSMIC!" Shouted cosmos.

"YOU MUST PAY FOR YOU SINS!" shouted Cosmos "YOU WILL ALL SUFFER THE WRATH OF ETERNAL...um, what are you doing?"

Cosmos watched as the heroes and villains surrounded the baby dragon that had been recently adopted by Dark Link.

"Oh my god, he's so cute!" said Samii

"Looks at his eyes!" said Ram "That's adorable!"

"Who's a good baby dragon?" said Dark Link "You are! Yes you are!"

"Hello? I'm about to smite you with my eternal wrath." said Cosmos "Are you even paying attention?"

The baby dragon rolled on it's back and yawned adorably.

"Awww, that's so cute!" said Maddawg

"HEY! LOOK OVER HERE FOR A DAMN SECOND!" yelled Cosmos "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU ALL!"

The baby dragon yelped and ran into a corner as Cosmos yelled at the top of his lung.

"Don't yell so loud! You're scaring the baby dragon!" said Dark Link "It's okay kiddo, the big, mean, stupid, smelly Cosmos isn't going to hurt you."

"Oh, fuck this." said Cosmos "I don't have time for this shit. I'm going to go destroy a time traveling Delorian or something."

Cosmos spread out his wings and flew away.

"So, have you thought of any names for the dragon?" asked Ram

"I think I'm going to call him Andy." said Dark Link

"That's a dumb name." said Maddawg

"Fuck you."

"Well, how about Wingy MacAwesomepants? That has to work!" Phil piped up.

"How? It doesn't have wings, dipshit." Dark link said

All of a sudden the baby dragon spouts fire from its back. The fire then shapes into wings. The baby giggles playfully, unaware of what he's done.

"Uh, guys? I think we may have found more exposition. And it's in the form of a cute baby dragon." Phil says.

"How about we name his awesomemacawesomepants?" Asked Orgazmo.

"I already said that!" Yelled Philip.

"Nah ah! I added another awesome to it!" Yelled back Orgazmo.

Suddenly, the voices of at least 100 angry villagers could be heard, brandishing torches and pichforks. Your typical angry mob.

"Oh oh! Quickly, come with me if you want to live! Into Samii's cavernous rear end!" Yelled Orgazmo, sticking his back into Samii's ass.

"Uhhhhh...." Said Phil, before looking back at the angry villagers, also wielding crossbows.

"Oh god dammit!" Yelled Phil as he ran into Samii's ass,disappearing from sight.

"Quickly, into my girlfriends posterior!!!" Yelled Ram as he, the other heroes, the villains, the baby dragons lept in.

MEANHWILE!!!

"Jesus Titty Fucking christ! Dont you ever wipe Samii?" Asked lazor, as he and the others in Samii's rectum were up to their waists in cow shit.

"Hey!!! I'm a happy cow!!! I let gravity do my wiping!" Yelled back Samii as the angry villagers came closer.

"Come on! I saw the heathens come hither over yonder!" Yelled one of the pitch fork and/or torch wielding villagers in a sterotypical Cockney accent.

"Quickly, Samii! Act natural!!!" Said ram.

Suddenly, Samii began eating lots of grass and mooing alot as the villagers went by her. Unfortuneatly, like all cows do when they act natural, she began to take a rather large cow pie.

"Oh shit, were being led out Samii's ass by shit!" Yelled Maddawg, as he and the others were being forced out Samii's butt by a river of hot molten shit.

"Uh, this is disgusting." said Dark Link, who was covered in shit "Thank god I brought my Zorbeez."

Dark Link reached into his hat and pulled out a Zorbeez. He wiped himself with it, cleaning up all the shit.

"Hey, can we use those Zorbeez?" said Ram

"No." said Dark Link "Get your own."

Meanwhile, outside the D.L.A. Greece HQ...

Two D.L.A. guards wearing ODST suits are guarding the entrance to the HQ.

"Man, this job sucks." said one of the ODSTs "How long do we have to wait out here for?"

"We have to stay here until Xandus decides who he is going to send to kill the heroes and villains." said the other ODST

"Man, that's bullshit."

The ODSTs noticed a figure approaching the building. He was wearing blue COG armour and had two Lancer assault rifles on his back. One of the ODSTs raised his sniper rifle.

"Hey, ya COG bastard!" said the ODST "Stop where you are!"

The COG soldier ignored the ODST, and continued walking towards the HQ.

"Stop now or I will shoot!"

The COG soldier continued to ignore the warnings.

"That's it! I'm firing!"

The ODST fired his sniper rifle at the COG soldier. The bullet went right through his head. The COG soldier stood still, then continued walking to the HQ.

"What the fuck? I shot him in the head!"

"Fire again!"

The ODST fired his sniper rifle three more times, each shot hitting the COG soldier in the head, yet he kept on walking.

"What the fuck is that thing?"

The COG soldier suddenly jumped into the air. He pulled out his two lancers and landed behind the ODST. He sliced the ODST in half. The other ODST raised his shotgun and fired at the COG soldier, who turned around and cut off his head.

Inside the HQ...

Xandus is sitting at a table. Across from him is a nazi in space marine armour and a sith assassin.

"Now, I need someone to kill a group of heroes and villains." said Xandus "You two are my top choices, but I can only hire one of you, so..."

Suddenly, the door to the room was blasted open. A COG soldier appeared from the entrance. He pulled out two lancers and shot the nazi and the sith in the head.

"Um, who the hell are you?" said Xandus

The COG soldier looked at Xandus.

"My name is Carmine." said the COG "I heard that you needed an assassin."

Back to where the heroes and villains where...

"So, where are we now?" said Dark Link, cleaning Andy with his Zorbeez

"Well, if the gods allow it, we'll be able to go back to the furture (DIRECTED BY ROBERT ZEMMECKES) and fuck stuff up there." Said Ram

"Well, last I check, we were still in that Oblivion gate thingy." Ram said, trying to shake all the crude off of himself.
"Ahem."
The heroes turned to see several more dragons behind them, all with an impatient look in their eyes.
"Oh, great. Did we kill you moms too?" Dark Link asked.
"Nooooo"
"Goody!"
"You killed our Empress and kidnapped our Prince!"
The group turned to look at the adorable little critter, now pawing at a fluttering butterfly.
"Well, that certainly is a conundrum we've caused, eh? We'll just hand over little Andy then, see if we can't figure something o-RUN NOW!" Ram screamed, squeezing Samii's stomach. A massive cloud of stinking gas covered their escape.

"Okay, I think if we just can make it to the gate and destroy it, we can trap these guys here and we'll be done with this whol-LINK WHY THE HELL DO YOU STILL HAVE THE BABY?!!?"
"You can't say no to those eyes, man! You just can't!" Dark Link whimpered, holding onto the little baby dragon desperately.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Ahhhhhh...., I love the smell of the destruction of my enemies homeworld in the morning." Said the Emperor of Spores, as he watched from a a direct feed from a scouting ship hovering over the homeworld of the Bumerians, obviously called Bumeria, as the summoned Kaiser Dragon, and his 6 servant dragons layed waist to the planet.

"Sir, we are ready to begin the Dietium infusement procedure." Said one of the Emperor's scientists, from a lab literally 10,000 miles away.

"Excellent. Begin at once. I want Titanous Mark 2 to be up and running with his magic resistant exoskeleton and in prime raiding condition by the time Bumeria goes up in lights."

"Whats lights?" Asked the humanoid scientist, dumbfounded.

Suddenly, on his screen, an intense green and yellow light is seen, one that even the emperor must look away from.

"That light." Said the emperor.

"By the gods! What is that?" Asked the scientist, looking away.

"If the calculations summed up by me are correct, I'd say, the final burst of energy released by an epic duel between the Kaiser and the Emperor of Bumeria. Now, hurry, I wanted Titanous MK2 seconds ago!"

MEANWHILE!!!

"OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!!!" Yelled Orgazmo, as he ran, covered in cow shit, several feet ahead of the others and entered one of the spires ajacent to the main one (which had had it's sigil stone removed already), and got caught in a long ass loading screen, filled with useless advice and tips (sounds like the load screens in oblivion to me!).

The others however, in their mutual terror, missed the door into the spire, and were forced to take an even longer ass loading screen into a rather confusing and similar throughout looking maze of Deadroths,Fire Daedra, Ice Daedra, and Storm Daedra.

"Yep, thats us alright. Always have to take the gods damn hard way!" Yelled Ram.

"Yep, I bets Orgazmo's cruising ez streets daddy-o!" Said Lazor, all the heroes and vilains looking at him with strange looks.

"What? A talking lazor cat cant be sarcastically lame and old school?"

MEANWHILE!!!

"So then I was like, Na ah! Then she was like, Ah ha! Then I was like, No way! Then she was like yes way!" Said Orgazmo as he stood infront of the sigil stone in the spire he was in.

"So then what did you do?" Asked an Arcane Arts practicing Dremora, behind him, and rather large force of creepy, yet surprisingly sexy Spider Daedra.

"So then we made out, undressed eachother, and did it all night long. Five hours later, we awoke in a pool of warm sticky delight." Said Orgazmo.

"Whoa! Right on man!" Said the Arcane practicing Dremora, as he and Orgazmos bumped fist.

"So.....before I totally take this sigil stone and leave you guys hopefully fr eternaty..... who's ready for a sexy kegger party!?" Asked Orgazmo.

"WE ARE!!!" Yelled the SPider Daedra.

"Then lets get this party started!!!!" Said Orgazmo as he pulled out a bottle of tequila he recovered from Samii's rectum, with the dead skeleton of Speedy Gonzalez next to it, poured it into the large D-Cup of one of the spider Daedra, and burried his face in the demons massive breats.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Yep, ez street." Said lazor, getting up after being hit by the rock fists of one of the storm Daedra.

"Quit your complaining and help us!!!" Yelled Philip, as he and ram were recieving a rather rough bear hug by the walking ice contructs called Frost Daedra.

"Please, these things are push overs!" Said Samii while beating a Daedroth to death with her 12 foot whopen stick, while standing on a pile of dead Fire Daedra.

"Damn, this is better then taking your girlfriend on a cheap anniversary date to watch Zombie Land and 9." Said Livingness, as he a death sat in lawn chairs, ate popcorn, and watched as Maddawg cut a three fire Daedra in half with his chainsaw staff.

" I smite thee with the head of Frohman!" Yelled Darklink, as he beat several Dremora clad in Daedric Armor, while holding frohman by the legs like a two handed battle ax, Frohman's head as the hammer head.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Ok all. Thats was fun, but now I'm afraid I must leave back for earth." Saod Orgazmo.

"Awww....." Said the Spider Daedra, all of whom were sexually satisfied within 10 minutes of the short 12 minute party.

"Wait, why am I using Frohman when I could be using my sword?" said Dark Link

Dark Link pulled out his sword and stabbed the dremoras, killing them. He looked forward and saw an army of daedra.

"We can't take those guys on!" said Dark Link "What are we going to do?"

Suddenly, a bright light came down from the sky, and a man came down to Oblivion. The daedra looked at the man and cowered in fear. He turned to the heroes.

"Who is that?" said Ram

"My boy." said the man "I am the one. The only. Samuel L. Jackson. And I'm here to help my bro Dark Link!"

Samuel L. Jackson turned around to the Daedra army.

"I'VE HAD THESE MOTHERFUCKING DAEDRA ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE...OF OBLIVION!" yelled Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson pointed a gun at the army and fired, sending a bullet of pure light. The bullet exploded and killed every daedra within seven miles.

"Thanks Samuel L. Jackson." said Dark Link

"Anytime Link." said Samuel L. Jackson "I'd love to stay, but he world needs me."

Samuel L. Jackson grew angel wings from his back and flew away, leaving a trail of holy light behind.

"Sooo...." said Ram "How do you know Samuel L. Jackson? And why is he an angel?"

Suddenly, the heroes and villains found themselves surrounded by fire, and within an instant, found themeselves back at the field of the happy cows, Orgazmo infront of them, holding a sigil stone.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Titanous. It has been nearly a millenium since I created you. Long have you served me, in over 10,000 tasks. Nearly a millenium since your former master was slain. Today, I give your chance at vengence against those who killed him. You are to lead a force of 10 heavy cruiser, each filled 100,000 of my finest men, to take control of the world that killed him. The battle plans are being sent now." Said the Emperor, his eyes glowing with the powerful pychis forcce he has been using to ensure Titanous loyalty throughout the centuries.

"I shall master, at once! For the glory of the empire!!!" Yelled Titanous, as the screen showing him sitting in his ships command throne dissappeared out of existence.

"Yes yes, for the glory of the empire my puppet. But most importantly, for my glory! The glory og emperor E-Vell (an obvious reference an pun to the real name of the Marvel Captain Marvel)!!! Muahahahahah!!!" Yelled the emperor, as he watched from a direct feed from a spy drone hovering above earth, watching various important people of earth, as they went about their business, like ants, completely unaware, that their world shall soon be conquered by one of the greatest, no, the greatest empire's the galaxy has ever known.

Suddenly groundhogs sprung up from the ground. They all gathered around Maddawg and looked up at him in awe.

"It's our master! He has returned to us to free us from the tyranny of the Gophers!" said the Wise leader of the Groundhogs.

"What the hell!" Said Orgazmo. "If anyone should be your master it should be me!"

"It's the Heathen who sold us into slavery! GET HIM!" Said the Groundhog wise man as the Gophers attacked him.

"AHH! THERE BITING ME! NO DON'T GO DOWN THERE! OWWWW I NEED THAT FOR MY EMPLOYMENT!"

"Come with us my lord. We need to discuss our plans of attack!"Said the Groundhog.

"I don't think we could-" *Giant elevator erupts from the ground* Never mind." Said Maddawg as he walked toward the Elevator with the villans following him.

As the elevator went down Orgazmo was still on the ground being attacked by Groundhogs.

"Should we help him?" Said Phil staring at Orgazmo.

"Nah. Let's just enjoy the show." Said Ram.

"Well..." said Revan "Now that those daedra and dragons are gone..."

Revan pulled out his lightsaber and held it up to Ram's neck.

"DUDE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" yelled Ram

"We still have to kill you. My brother Xandus has ordered it." said Revan

"Isn't Xandus the one who betrayed us and sent an army of daedra to kill us?" said Sho

"That matters not. He will let me live if I kill you fools."

The elevator doors opened, Revan's back facing the entrance.

"Now, prepare to be..."

Revan was interrupted as a chainsaw bursted through his chest. He turned around and saw that a COG soldier had impaled him with his lancer. The COG soldier pulled out his lancer, letting Revan's body fall to the ground.

"My name is Carmine." said the COG "And I am here to kill you."

"IT IS THE GREAT SATAN CARMINE!" screamed Maddawg "THE KILLER OF LOCUST! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Dark Link slapped Maddawg across the face.

"Get a hold of yourself man."

Master Kitty sighed as he jumped out of the bushes(there were bushes somewhere ok!) He and Daye walked into the elevator and began tapping the down button, the door began slowly closing.

"Better hurry up bitches, this door is closing fast." Master Kitty then turned to Maddawg, "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing much. We just got sent back to the land of Cryodil in the empire of Tamiriel, and went to hell and back." Said Maddawg.

MEANWHILE, on the Planet Mars, a scanner is beeping with a furousity that rivals that of the great Multi-Kill himself.

"What the fuck, this cant be right! According to my scanners, ten large vessels have just entered the sol system, and are whizing past pluto and Neptune faster then I can win a match in TF2!!!" Said Multi-Kill.

Quickly, using his atomic powers, he flew out of mar's atmosphere, and into the coldness of space, cuting his search for the legendary Right Hand of Doom, an item he had heard about while helping the Star Brothers out on the planet Dorvala (as seen in issue 14 of Made-Up Super Hero Team Comics!), in an attempt to intercept whatever it was that had just come into the solar system, his solar system.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Their chomping on my love gun!!! Help me out Kiss!!!" Yelled Orgazmo, the pain of getting his wang bitten by the cute little subterranean killers, so great that he imagined that the other heroes were the members of Kiss.

"Ummmmmm.... cant you make your wang as hard titanium or something?" Asked Ram.

"Thanks Gene Hackman, for reminding me I can do that!" Said Orgazmo, his wang becoming as hard as iron, then steel, then finally, titanium, the furry little mammals that were trying to suck him off's teeth shattering as he did so.

"Um, why the hell don't we just fight these things? I'm getting tired of seeing these toothless animals demonstrate fellatio on Orgazmo's titanium package" Phil said.

"Wow, that really didn't sound right when you said it." Ram said

"Little animals are showing their "hot dog-eating technique" to a metal rod. How can i make that sound PC?"

After that mentally scarring conversation, the heroes stomp on the woodland critters, they all check out their surroundings.

"Why exactly are we here?" Phil says

"Well, some people believe we were formed from little microbes a billion years ago, some believe some Cosmic Force created us in his image. Truth is? You don't wanna know. Trust me." Ram said, wiping some of the groundhog blood off of him.
"Nooo...I meant why are we here, in the middle of some Happy Cow pasture, killing small cute animals!"
"....for funnsies?"

MEANWHILE, NEAR URANUS (YES, URANUS XANDUS,RAM,PHIL, AND ADAM), Multi-Kill, through a hyper spatial Boom-Tube appears infront of the fleet that had just entered the sol system, consisting only of Sporian fighter craft. Strange, considering that they usually dont break off from the mothership.

He could easy destroy them in bright green flashes of radioactive death, which he really wanted to their presense disrupting his search, but, as guardian of the system, he had know if they were friendly before he kicked-ass, unlike how he is at Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4. Using his suits abilities, he established an audio uplink with the ships.

"This is Multi-Kill of the planet earth, Bumerian appointed protector of the sol system Who dares enter my domain?" Asked Multi-Kill.

He got no response.

Suddenly, the fighters, which before had ignored him and continued past Uranus towards Saturn, turned back, and began firing bolts of ionic lasers and plasma at Multi-Kill, who quickly raised a radiation shield barrier around himself, protecting him from the blasts, and fired a continuous stream of green radioactive energy at the fighters, destroying all ten of them.

"Well, that was eas-" Said Multi-Kill, before suddenly being hit by a massive orbiting asteroid, and being sent hurtling towards mars at such a speed that in only a mere 3 hours, he would crash into it.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All aboard the love boat!!!" Yelled Pigfeet the other sailor man, while injecting himself with spinach juice, in LA harbor.

"OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!!! We're not gonna make it!!!" Yelled Ram, sitting in the shotgun seat of the H3 Hummer they had comandered, Orgazmo driving the car, his foot all of the way on the gas peddle, in a desparate attempt to make it to the gate of the love cruise to Hawaii he booked everyone for."

"Get a hold of yourself man! Samii, give hima good bitch smack!!!" Yelled Orgazmo.

"Owww! That hurt!!!" Said ram, having just recieved the first of many beatings to come from Samii.

"Eh, what do we care? Were angles, we have no need or want for mortal pleasures such as sex, right Rag?" Asked Phil, in the backseat, turning to Rag also in the back, and jerking off to some Naruto hentai pics.

"Right....." Said Rag, putting his pants back on and throwing the hentai pics in the back.