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Master Looter  Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009     | |
Master Looter  Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009     | "Eat dick you gay haters!!!" Yelled Orgazmo as he swatted charged the Nazi'a and knocked them into Boston Bay with his massive wang. This time however, Mandibles (Jaw's great ancestor) finally managed to eat them, while still managing to keep his coolio pimpin' 18th century shark hat on. Meanwhile... at the pub of the gods.... "Can I get you some Asgardian mead Mr.Dr.Manhatten sir?" Asked Hermes, rapidly shaking up a thermos of the nectar of the Norse Gods. "I require no food or drink for sustanance. I merely require to know where exactly in space and time we are." Said Dr.Manhatten. Suddenly Lokki appeared ina puff of smoke, in a seat next to Dr.Manhatten. "Really? Hermes, theres an extra bag of gold coins for you if you leave us now and go bother Venus,a.k.a. apphrodite over there." Said Lokki, pointing to naked Venus siting alone talking to several Valkrie. "You got it Mr.Norse God of Mischief sir!!!" Said Hermes, as he quickly grabbed Venus's wig and ran to earth, venus and her Valkrie friends really far behind. "So, you care to know where we are, ey?" Asked Lokki. "I can see into my future you know. Your going to ask me to ask Thor where he keeps the Auditor at, and then have me tell you so that you can steal it's powers and recreate the universe into your own image. You plan on getting me to do this by getting me drunk on Olypian wine and Asgardian mead." "Damn, usually they dont find out so quickly..." Said Lokki. "Luckiley for you, the predetermined path that is layed before me says that I must get drunk, and help you in your mad quest." "Fuck Yeah! Here, drink this so you can get bombed!" Said lokki, passing Manhatten two large pitchers of Wine and Mead. |
Master Looter  Posts: 1204 Joined: 26 Dec 2008    | The Dragon roared greatly and a beam of blue starlight roasted some nazis that attempted to charge him. He darted his eyes back forward and brought his attention to the ram that stood in front of all the havoc. "I am not Mr. Big Dragon guy, tiny talking ram. My name is Cosmos. I am a dragon of the stars and I answer only to the Great Time Dragon. As I stated before I am here to punish those guilty of damaging precious space and time. I have already seen the havoc your group of misfits has caused before and I know my judgment but I am inclined to ask. How do you and your group of misfits plea!" Stay Frosty! |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "UhhhhhhhhhhhI didn't do it?" Ram pleaded. |
Epic’d Out  Posts: 5565 Joined: 16 Dec 2008     | "Well I suppose this only leaves one solution!" yells Master Kitty at the dragon, "Grimm did it!" And the dragon blew a mighty breath of fire into the face of Grimm. |
Power Leveler  Posts: 4510 Joined: 3 Jun 2009    | Ninja'd spoiler only post now... FOIL |
Power Leveler  Posts: 4606 Joined: 12 Feb 2009    |
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Master Looter  Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009   | "Hey guys, I have a plan." said Dark Link Dark Link pushed Frohman in front of the dragon. "HE DID IT!" yelled Dark Link "KILL HIM!" "W-what?" said Frohman The dragon grabbed Frohman with his mouth. He threw him into the air, shot fire at him, and caught him in his mouth. The dragon was surprised however, to see that Frohman was still alive. "What trickery is this?" said the dragon "Oh, I can't die." said Frohman "Also, my boss and his new friends escaped while you were distracted." Somewhere off in the distance... "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!" yelled Dark Link |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "We're going to run away from a Dragon of Stars? Briliant. Next we can try to swim away from Jaws, hmm?" Ram said with deep annoyance at D Link. |
Master Looter Posts: 1204 Joined: 26 Dec 2008 | "Grrr. You wont escape from me," Cosmos said tossing frohman aside and giving chase. Cosmos Couldn't fly to fast so he could catch up as quickly as he wanted. He began shooting breaths of starfire at them. "Ah dammit he's shooting at us." D Link said, dodging left and right. "Well maybe if we tried negotiation I would NOT be dodging blue fire," Ram protested keeping up with his speed. "Oh don't you start Ram. We gotta do somethin about this guy," D Link replied as some fire passed just over his head. "You can't escape. I will catch up eventually." Stay Frosty! |
Power Leveler Posts: 4510 Joined: 3 Jun 2009 | (((OOC: Double Ninja'd... Maybe I should start reserving....))) FOIL |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "Wait, are we dodging starfire? Just a bunch of glorified fairy dust!" Orgazmo jeered, stopping and facing one of the shots. Several seconds of screaming later... |
Master Looter  Posts: 1210 Joined: 10 Feb 2009  | Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose misapplication of the word. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Wait a minute, would'nt cosmos interfering just fuck up the future even more?" Asked Rag, jumping over a large boulder and watching as cosmos blew it up. "Yeah. I mean, why doesnt he just take us back to the future, DIRECTED BY ROBERT SCHEMECKIS, for surely he is a being of logic and sees the folley of his actions." Said Orgazmo. "I'm a gonna kill ya you damn dirty nigga lovers!!!" Yelled Cosmos in a hill billy costume. "Nevermind...." Said Orgazmo, dodging some trees as he and the others entered a frozen forest. |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | Ram looked back to see Cosmos shedding his hill-billy costume. "Note to self: Next time you choose a new reality to live in, go for the one with less idiots" mentally noted Ram. Once he saw the frozen forest and several feet of snow on the ground, he immediately brightened up. "I thought goats were better with mountains and fields?" Rag asked him. |
Master Looter Posts: 1204 Joined: 26 Dec 2008 | Cosmos watched as the rag-tag group jumped into the cover of a snowy forest. "Grrr. I tire of these games." He said, very frustrated. "Well you could just give up." Orgazmo called back. "Don't anger him dammit." D Link argued. "I don't think he could get madder." Orgazmo shot back. "You think you can hide in that forest." Cosmos yelled out as he flew up until most of the forest was in his sight. He leaned his head back as far as possible gathering a large quantity of energy. He roared it all out until it covered the forest entirely but the forest didn't burn. Instead it began to glow brightly and then dull back down. Cosmos grinned and thought to himself... Heh heh. The forest is pretty big but that should make this a little easier. I may not have the Time Dragon's power but I can still put up a pretty strong space barrier around this forest. Now when they try to leave my power will just warp them right back around into the now forest. As long as they don't find the fracture section only I can safely pass in and out. Time to weed these people out. "What was that?" Ram wondered. "Eh were surrounded by snow it's probably just some gleam from the sun." Rag answered. Stay Frosty! |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | Suddenly, they crashed into an invisible force field, and bounced back with a rather loud thud. "The fuck?" Asked Lazor, dusting himself off. |
Master Looter Posts: 2594 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 | "Well, it's been nice hanging with you guys, but I think I'll try a different set of adventurers. Shuse!" Ram said, before rushing into a thicket of trees. "Heh, what a bunch of WHACK jobs, with emphasize of the whack-to-their head." he mumbled. ... "Okay, nevermind. Still with you guys." Ram muttered, the space-time distortion dis-heartening him. |
Master Looter Posts: 1210 Joined: 10 Feb 2009 | Ragnorak drew Wyrmbane and stared into the blade. "Well now. Ain't you a pretty one. Ah well, too bad." Ragnorak walked up to the barrier and swung Wyrmbane, the blade flashing as it cut the dragon magic easily. "Useful, having a weapon tuned to slayin' dragons. Shall we?" Rag stepped out the cut place in the magic and turned to his left...right into Cosmos snoot. "Ummm...Hi! Do I really have to fight you, I mean, you're not pastel so you're probably not evil and I don't want to kill a good dragon so if it's not too much trouble, could you just, I don't know, send us back to our time or something like that that doesn't involve us all dying horribly?" Rag grinned wide, as he was wont, though there was an obvious hint of nervousness in it. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose misapplication of the word. |
Master Looter Posts: 1204 Joined: 26 Dec 2008 | "Hmm very well. I can do little with you having that sword anyway. That was my main job in the first place. Too bad we couldn't have talked to begin with." "Oh why I believe someone said that already." Ram said, leaning in D Links path. "Shut it goat." D Link said, not even facing Ram. Cosmos leaned back gathering the energy he had left and engulfed the heroes in it. It surrounded them with a warm tingling feeling. "You know this feels pretty-" Orgazmo started. "SHUT UP!" Ram interrupted. The starfire warped into a portal which sucked the heroes up and began reversing their mistakes and returning them to time. Cosmos voice echoed in the portal. "This pardon shall only be granted once. If you disrupt the time-space again it is not I who will be sent. It will be Reckoning. And he is never to be negotiated with..."Cosmos's voice trailed off. Meanwhile in the Time Dragon's Lair "You see that. You should have just sent me. I am stronger and would have crushed them." A voice boomed from nowhere. "No. Cosmos completed his job and even strengthened a technique he had been working on. Although you possess much more power that Cosmos he makes up for it in technique." "I don't need technique with my power." "Careful with that attitude. Cosmos with surpass you if you keep that mindset." "Well what will we do about them now." "We wait. I shall let Cosmos's faith in them delay judgment for now. As long as they know I am always watching. Stay Frosty! |
Master Looter  Posts: 2596 Joined: 29 Jul 2009   | Meanwhile, In the Future (or in other words, the present day...) Phil made it to school, panting. "Damn, i forgot the school was 2 miles away from my house" he said in between breaths Luckily for him, he made it in before the first bell, so he wasn't late. He had no time for breakfast, so he just walked to his first class: History. "Ok, class, open your textbooks to page 247. Today will be learning about Colonial American in 1776." The teacher said. "We're gonna learn about George Washington and his- Wait a minute, this can't be right..." he said "What's wrong?" A female student asks. "It says here that there was Nazis, Robots, Nazi Robots, & Dragons in 1776. Well, that can't be true." the teacher said Elsewhere in the school... A Figure dressed in all black walked down the empty halls of the school, holding his pockets tightly. He was trembling with anticipation for what was to come, while his eyes shifted suspiciously in their sockets. "For too long they made fun of me" the shadowy figure said, anger growing within him. "For TOO LONG, have they bullied me, and embarrassed me." "Now, they will pay. They, WILL, ALL, PAY!!" He walked out to the football field, where the star quarterback and some teammates were doing warm-ups. The jock notices him, and greets him. "Hey geekwad, what the hell are you doing out here?" the jock asks. "I'm tired of your shit, Wachowski. And now, you're gonna pay." the boy says. "Oh yeah, and are you gonna do, fuck nugget?" the jock says, his teammates laughing at his lame insult. Then, quick as a flash, something shiny comes out of the boy's pocket. BANG. the shot rings throughout the the campus, and the jock slumps lifelessly, a bullet lodged in his skull. The other two look at their fallen friend, then at the boy, who pulls out another gun. They try to run, but they can't outrun bullets. BANG BANG. Two more shots go off, straight into their backs. The boy reloads the guns and goes back into the school. "I'm not finished yet" he says solemnly, heading towards the cafeteria. |
Master Looter  Posts: 1225 Joined: 14 Jul 2009   | Meanwhile, back in the past... Death crawled out from behind a bale of hay. "Hmmm... where did all the heroes, robots, nazis and dragons go?" |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "God dammit!!!" Yelled Ram and Orgazmo, as their group was again surounded by Cows and man eating horses. "You shall pay for the muredering of our sisters foul men!!! Pay-" Suddenly, several old-school pick up trucks are heard, with several:"Ye Ha's!!!" To boot. "Oh fuck nugget!!! Its the real California farmers!!! Everyone, run into the mine, and protect your utters!!!" Yelled The cow who said that ram and his group would pay, as sheand the other happy cows ran into the mine, the horses following suit. "Think we should follow?" Asked Orgazmo. "Please, what possible harm could a bunch of farmers be?" Asked Ram. Several seconds later.... "I was wrong!!! I was horribly horribly wrong!!!" Yelled Ram, as he was running away from the pick-up truck full of surprisingly well armed farmers, his fur on fire due to the pick-up's front end flame thrower, Orgazmo and the rest of the group, hiding with the happy cows. |
Adventurer  Posts: 479 Joined: 25 Jun 2009    | Grimm frowned, "I wake up in a field.. And i end up with the weirdest and most demented people ever... God save us all.."... He cracked his knuckled and dashed towards the farmers and in a instant he had killed them all... "I do that.. When im annoyed.. So.. Were like.. Safe.. Now..".. He grinned, "Who is almighty now, MOTHER FUCKERS"!!! Orgazmo stared at him, "Not you.."..! Grimm sighed, "I fucking hate you all... You're all stupid... So.. Stupid..".. Maddawg then slashed at him with his chainsaw staff, Nearly missing him, But then Grimm slammed him in the face.. "DONT TRY TO HURT ME, LOCUST"!! |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | Suddenly, from the out of nowehere, more farmers appeared, on pick-up trucks, and with double barrled shotgun, and began firing at our heroes. "Ye haaaaaa!!! We gonna milk you bitches good, and make some real california cheese with our real californian cheese making style, in our real californian ten gallon hats!!!" Yelled one of the farmers. "Oh lordy sweet chickens!!!" Yelled The cow who said that Ram and friends had to pay, running the fuck away, Orgazmo's group, and the other happy cows folloing close behind. Ram, being a ram, quickly got to the front, right next to the cow and asked:"In all the exitement in this wierd and random adventure, I forgot to ask you, your name." Said Ram. "Samii." Said the cow, before tumbling over a lady bug, and causing a massive pile up of cows, mean eating horses, and AA main characters. |
Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | Meanwhile, at the D.L.A.'s base of Operations in Rome... Xandus is sitting in front of a table in a room, which is filled with the D.L.A.'s most power councilors. Arthas is standing at the end of the table. "...and all against?" said Arthas "Nay." said everyone in the room "Very well. Hitler will be kicked out of the D.L.A. permanently." said Arthas "You guys are a bunch of dicks." said Hitler, before leaving the building "Now, let's see what's next on the agenda." said Arthas "Ah yes, it seems councilor Xandus wants to present something to the rest of the D.L.A. councilors." Xandus got up from his seat and walked up to a display covered with a red cloth. A day ago, he had awoken from a wonderful dream where he turned into an embodiment of destruction and caused the apocalypse. When he woke up, he found a small Shard in his hands. It didn't take him long to find out that the shard could reverse time. He manipulated this shard, turning it into a device he could use for his own goals. "Gentlemen." said Xandus "I present to you, my time machine!" Xandus threw the red cloth off the display, and was shocked to find that there was an empty box in the display instead of his new machine. "REVAN!" yelled Xandus "Where the FUCK did my time machine go?!" "Uh, well you see..." said Revan "While I was guarding the machine like you told me to, some guy named Gordon Freeman approached me. He said that some Locust named Maddawg wanted to borrow the machine for a while." "You gave this Freeman character my time machine?" said Xandus, red with anger "Don't worry, he said Maddawg would give it back." said Revan "Besides, I highly doubt he would mess with a machine that complex." Suddenly, George Washington appeared from nowhere, holding a MP-40 in one hand and a nazi's head in the other. "WHERE AM I?!?!" yelled Washington "Great." said Xandus "They've already began messing with time. Alright fellow D.L.A. councilors, I'm offering 500 million dollars to whoever finds the locust named Maddawg, kills him, and brings me back me time machine!" Meanwhile, back in Colonial America... "So, what do we do now?" said Dark Link to Ram |
Power Leveler Posts: 4606 Joined: 12 Feb 2009 | "Well as fun as it was to kill a bunch of Germans and see a farm animal running into a wall. I think I'll take my leave." said Maddawg. "Come Dark Link. TO NEW YORK!" And with that Dark Link and Maddawg ran to New York. The sunset right behind him and a song playing in the background. And I rannnnn, I ran so far Awayyy. Unfortunatly after the chorus Maddawg collapsed about a mile into the journey. "What..*Cough* the fuck man!" Said Dark link "It was the only song I could afford for the montage." "It's not even the whole song. It's just the Chorus!" "Well it was either this or the other one. Hang on I'll show ya."Said Maddawg taking out a Boombox and switching the Tape in there for a diffrent one. "It was either the chorus for "I ran" or this." Said Maddawg. |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 |
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Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 |
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Power Leveler Posts: 4606 Joined: 12 Feb 2009 |
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Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 |
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Master Looter Posts: 2136 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | "So, where are we now?" said Dark Link The group heard a noise and turned around to see a phantom dropship above them. An elite dressed in ancient looking armour jumped down in front of them. "Greetings." said the Elite "I am the Arbiter." "Um, nice to meet you?" said Ram The Arbiter pulled out his energy sword. "I am here to kill the locust known as Maddawg, and retrieve the time machine he stole." said the Arbiter "Now, which one of you is Maddawg?" "You're wasting your breath." said Ram "We'll never betray our friends to the likes of you." "He's Maddawg." said Dark Link, pointing at Maddawg "Dude, what the fuck?!" said Maddawg The Arbiter lunged at Maddawg, and grabbed him by the neck. He held his sword up to Maddawg's head. "Give me the time machine, and I'll make this quick." |
Power Leveler Posts: 4606 Joined: 12 Feb 2009 | "ORRRR! Here's a better idea. You let me go and I won't show you your intestines." Said Madddawg bring his knee to the Arbiter's face. The Arbiter backed up, releasing Maddawg from his grip. "Figures. We spen 10 years in evil Alien school and you don't even remeber me!" |
Master Looter Posts: 1148 Joined: 6 Jun 2009 | "Boy, these cattle rustlers sure are getting wierder and wierder by the minute. This looks like a job for them boys and girls in Red, White, Blue, yellow, and Pink!!!" Yelled one of the farmers, dialing his emergency beacon. Suddenly, from out of a rather large beam of light came.... A group of teenagers in red, blue,black, yellow, and pink!!!! |
Adventurer Posts: 479 Joined: 25 Jun 2009 | Grimm looked at them, "The fuck.."... |
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"....deep dreading feeling that this is going to happen often happening...and now I'm over it." Ram said, shaking off the feeling.
He looked at the various space-time anomalies with a wary eye.
"You know, I'm sure someone is shitting a brick over all this crazy stuff."
Suddenly, a portal ripped open in the sky above them, releasing a mighty dragon from it's swirling depths.
"Bow and quake mortals, for I have come to punish those that would dare wreak the fragile time-space contin-WTF?!?" the Dragon cried, seeing one of the Beatles members trying to fight off the Robot Nazi with his guitar.
"...case in point, Mr. Big Dragon guy."