Ram blinked in confusion. "Say, who brought the chest with anyway? I thought we left that behind."
The Chest named Dave gave a annoyed grunt. "I followed you. This jerk," indicating the small mouse thing "Wouldn't shut up. Said he had a great entrance he didn't wan't ruined because of dumb Ninja's, whatever that means."
The small furry creature gave the chest a reproachful look, telling it to shut it's lock. It then turned to the adventurers. "Say, mind if we join you guys?" he asked, giving Ram a doefull look.
"Sure," Ram sighed, eyeing the ever increasing group of heroes. "But just try to lag behind, Ok? We are now heading to this Island of Chuck Norris, and are going to try to get his help to get the Triforce!" he finnished with a triumphant pose, trumpets playing behind him.
"Whatever for?" the still-unamed mouse-thing said.
"Well, to use it agains the Last Bay King and Maddawg, of course!" Ram said.
"What, those guys that were fighting each other and bombing the wrong villages and who's armies you defeated with little to no effort?" the mouse-thing politely asked.
"....You know what? Your going to be the quiet brooding one of this group, k?" Ram gruffly said.
"Uh, UH! Can I be the extremely violent but inwardly sensitive one! Cept without the sensitive part, cause the only inward thing in me is MAH LAZORS!" came a familiar voice.
Ram only shook his head and sighed (gosh, he does that a lot, don't he?) and headed over to the coast near the island.

Ramthundar:
Ram blinked in confusion. "Say, who brought the chest with anyway? I thought we left that behind."
The Chest named Dave gave a annoyed grunt. "I followed you. This jerk," indicating the small mouse thing "Wouldn't shut up. Said he had a great entrance he didn't wan't ruined because of dumb Ninja's, whatever that means."
The small furry creature gave the chest a reproachful look, telling it to shut it's lock. It then turned to the adventurers. "Say, mind if we join you guys?" he asked, giving Ram a doefull look.
"Sure," Ram sighed, eyeing the ever increasing group of heroes. "But just try to lag behind, Ok? We are now heading to this Island of Chuck Norris, and are going to try to get his help to get the Triforce!" he finnished with a triumphant pose, trumpets playing behind him.
"Whatever for?" the still-unamed mouse-thing said.
"Well, to use it agains the Last Bay King and Maddawg, of course!" Ram said.
"What, those guys that were fighting each other and bombing the wrong villages and who's armies you defeated with little to no effort?" the mouse-thing politely asked.
"....You know what? Your going to be the quiet brooding one of this group, k?" Ram gruffly said.
"Uh, UH! Can I be the extremely violent but inwardly sensitive one! Cept without the sensitive part, cause the only inward thing in me is MAH LAZORS!" came a familiar voice.
Ram only shook his head and sighed (gosh, he does that a lot, don't he?) and headed over to the coast near the island.

OCC

While the group ventured to get a boat Maddawg decided to get a headstart on finding the Triforce. Maddawg landed on the magical islan. "Grind" "Where i dont see it?" "Grind" "I dont see it. You know what i think your lying". "Grind" "There you go again. look I dont think the island looks like a skull."

"Grind". "I know were lost okay now stop rubbing it in my face". "Grind?" "Who are we going to ask huh that rock that rolling log that rick rolling log" "NEVER GUNNA GIVE YOU UP" says the rick rolling log who was then destroyed by a boomshot. "I HATE THIS ISLAND." *sighs* Lets just get this stupid triangle and leave" "Grind" "THATS IT YOUR FIRED. You grunt boy your my new advisor" The Grinder advisor ran away crying while Maddawg trudged through the swampy Island.

Lastbayking stood jaw agape, staring at Chuck Norris. "But...But your not real."
"Oh yes I am." Said Chuck in a booming, commanding voice that almost sent LBK flying.
"But...I can't defeat you no one can..."
"I know." Chuck ran full speed at LBK, smacking him around in the air like a lead balloon. Bayknights ran out to help there leader, but were all kicked down at the same time. Iniate assistant ran away screaming, but Chuck grabbed him(While beating Bayking) and forcibly ripped off his head. All around was blood and gore, and more gore. But The bayking himself was barely alive, lying face down in the surf and sand, waves pounding his useless body. Chuck Norris glided down next to him.
"Please...Chuck...I only came here for the triforce of courage."
"Oh this useless thing." He said pulling the glowing, levitating triangle out of his pocket."Why didn't you just say so. Here." The bayking preceded to pass out.

In evil parts unknown, Washington D.C.
"Sir, our stolen spybots have been found." A scribe ran up to Elder Lyons of the real Bos.
"So have we found that fool Bay king?" Said the old leader, his face old but his voice the same as Chuck Norris.
"No, but recordings show him getting his ass handed to him by anamorphic creatures."
"Hm...I see."
"Also he's questing after the triforce."
"The fool, does he not realize we have the triforce of wisdom in our vaults."
"I don't believe so."
"Hmp, send our army of Steel members, unite with the west coast, and attack Wisconsin. The time of the bayking is over. And kill these things, there werid." Leader Lyon turned and marched away.

"ok now , lets get on a boat and get to the coast, if it holds the norris it holds the power. also i heard its a fishing boat. so go!!". the gang hopped on the boat and went to the island. it was a treacherous 10 minute trip.

Maddawg had crawled and cut his way to the east side of the island where all he found was a pile of dead bodys and destroyed buildings. "What do you think happened here Grunt Advivsor" "Wraaaaaa" "Ya i wouldnt be surpirsed if it was some kind of plot device either. Hey mabye that guy knows what happened here" said Maddawg pointing to the only man standing.
Maddawg walks over to the guy and asks" Hey buddy you know where i can find a triangle of courage thing." The man turns around and immeaditly recongzies the man. "I am not your buddy" Gregg Norris then roundhouse kicks Maddawg and Maddawg went flying. Greg Norris chased after Maddawg. "Maddawg flew across the beach before landing. When he saw Gregg coming back for another pass he grabbed his grunt advisor and asked "How about a trade?" Gregg then stopped and asked "What kind of trade? "You give me the triangle of Courage and I'll give you this monkey" Gregg thinks about this for a moment before agreeing to the trade.Gregg ran back to get the Triforce back from LBK. Gregg stared at LBK before saying "Sorry partner but i need this for my dinner" Gregg then took the triforce and ran back to Maddawg Gregg took the grunt and handed Maddawg the Triforce of courage.

Maddawg held up his prize and for some reason a horn played DUHDUHDUHDUH. Maddawg looked around for the source of the sound. He gave up on finding the source and followed the beach around the island. He looked at the ocean and saw a boat on the horizon. It wouldnt have bothered him if a red laser hadent been fired from the boat. Maddawg knew that it was the laser cat and had to get off the island before they arrived. just then Maddawg was hit from behind and knocked out.

"Gee, Lazor, not like anyone on the island can see that blast at all" said Logician. "I mean I know you're pissed the fish are gone, but sheesh, our quest is hard enough with conflicting plotlines and all, let's just tip the scales in our enemies' favors even more"
"Sorry. Just couldn't control myself." mumbled the lazor cat.
Hey, owner of Abacus over there. You're always bragging about how logic is "all-powerful." How 'bout a demonstration? Teleport us to that island. I bet you can't.
"You know, Rag, she's really starting to get on my nerves. Anything you can do?"
"I'll take a look at her personality chip." Ragnorak rummaged around in the computer. "Yep, that's the problem. She's supposed to be a really nice person, but this wire got crossed. Let me just...there!" Ragnorak closed the lid of the cube. I apologize, Logician. My personality chip was out of whack. I'm still calling the laptop "Abacus" though.
That's just mean.
"You still have a lot to learn about women, Jerry." laughed Ram. "But Helena made a good point there. Why didn't we just have you teleport us there?"
"I...don't know. Well then, let's go!" and the Logician snapped his fingers. The party watched the boat dissolve and an island resolve (opposite of dissolve?) around them. There was a large crater in the ground not far away and the party wandered over to investigate. They found maddawg and LBK knocked out and Chuck Norris smoking a cigarette like the badass he is. "They tried to take the Triforce. So I knocked them out. Quit glaring at me!"
"You should have just killed them. Now we have to continue to deal with their antics.' said Ram. "Oh well, can we have the Triforce?"
"yeah, just a second. weird thing is, a little dude came by recently, saw me, and ran off. If he wanted the Triforce, all he had to do was ask. I'm really a nice guy, as evidenced by how I backed Mike Huckabee for President, despite his chances being lower than those of a snowball on the Sun." As he said this, Chuck reached behind him and grabbed a glowing crystal from an alcove behind him. He handed it the Ram, who held it between his horns while Jerry played a sarcastic rendition of the LoZ victory theme. The party then was teleported to the shoreline by the Logician and they continued on their merry way.

Just then Maddawg came to and looked at Chuck Norris "What the hell it was a fair deal". Chuck simply replied back with "The monkey ran away so i wanted the triforce back." Chuck threw away his cigar and put a new one in his mouth. He then began rummaging for his lighter.

"You know what"said Maddawg "We got started off on the wrong foot. Here let me light your cigar for you. Maddawg then took out his flamethrower and lit Chuck Norris on fire. As Chuck ran for the ocean to put himself out Maddawg called for a reaver and managed to escape.

Ram thought he saw a flash near the island. "Hmm, Chuck Norris must be having a BBQ going on." Ram then turned to the group. "Well, men (and various animals, creatures, and AI) we've got the triforce! The almighty power! Which is weird, cause that was way easy. Don't know why Link always get's so flustered getting these."
Suddenly, the earth began to quake, crumbling nearby houses and trees. The ground began to crack, and a resonating voice was heard
I'LL SHOW YOU WHY!

the heroes fell through the earth and ended up in a large circular room with a door on the far side next to it: Mr.yetfun
"hey i thought I rickroll`d you" logician said pointing his finger.
"yeah too bad for you I`m trained in internet meme resistance so it was completely useless I just had to pick up my dry cleaning which by the way I thought you were going to do" Mr.yetfun said holding up a dry cleaning bag.
"so what`s with the whole dumping us in this room" ram asked
"well now you have the triforce you have to earn the ability to use it by going through this enormously elaborate dungeon with several monsters and traps fight about three giant monsters oh" Mr.yetfun said with a sinister smile on his face.
"oh hell no screw that" laser cat said charging his laser firing at mr.yet fun but missing instead hitting the door blasting it open.
"hey you saved me having to open it thanks and now bye-bye" Mr.yetfun then pulled a lever to the right of him activating the conveneyer belt under the heroes sending them flying through the door and into the dungeon

The companions started out clearing the dungeon, but that quickly got boring, so Ragnorak just started busting walls down with his staff. They got to the center of the labyrinth and killed the three guardians with little trouble (I mean, come on, they're LoZ enemies. If they were FFV enemies, I might be worried, but LoZ? C'mon.). They then placed the Triforce of courage on the pedestal they uncovered. The crystal glowed, and the underground chapel rose to the surface. They picked up the Triforce and went on their way.

The group began walking around the maze looking for the exit. They tried everything burning down walls,teleporting,hell they even tried lasering out all to no success. Eventually they found that they were not alone. Something was following them throught the maze. Something big and powerful. They kept walking keeping a watch for it.

Eventually lasercat got bored and began firing laser blasts behind them. Out of the dust came three figures. One was the one winged angel Sepiroth. The second was Ryu Hyabusha And the final one was Praying Mantis Of MGS.

"Well look who is lost in our maze said a figure behind them. It was Bob Barker. You have no where you are do you."
Ragnorak responded to the question by saying "Well of course we dont know w"here are thats the point of a maze." "Well to be more specific your in the Maze of the damned. Think of it as a maze with no end. Here all the baddest and most powerful killers come when they die. Now why dont you just lay down and die even if you do kill us we will just come back in a certain part of the maze.

"Sorry, Ragnorak, but looks like your plan of easyness will be ignored, for we're facing FFV villain and etc now!" Ram cried, preparing himself for battle.
"Hmph, I thought it was a good plan." Ragnorak grumbled, but also reading his staff.
"I could of told you about our ambushers, sir, but I was being distracted by Abacus and his...comments."
"Hey baby, I'm just setting the right...MOD...for us, you know?"

The wasteland, Washington D.C
"Is it ready." Asked an impaitent elder Lyons.
"Yes, sir. The airfortress has been completed." A member of Lyon's pride lead him to a hangar, where a giant aircraft carrier was waiting. On top deck was over 40 main cannons, 70 pivotal machine guns, belt fed theramite rounds. On the bottom deck, thirty GunMan class battlemechs, stolen from the Gundam invasion of 2308. Above that was room for over 3000 sailors and marines, with an aircraft load of 400. Also, it flew.
"Good, and news from the west."
"They have agreed to support our attack group."
"And where is the Bayking?"
"All reports show that he is dead."
"Good, good. And the others?"
"There in Hell sir, or atleast that's what our orbital trackers say."
"Well blast a hole the size of Wisconsin and follow those fools. Finally, have you discovered the location of the last triforce?"
"Yes sir. Located deep in the Nexus."
"Really, in the locust capital."
"No sir just pulling your chain, it appears to be in Hell also, near the end of the Labryinth."
"Does everybody no this?"
"Everyone in the pride sir."
"Good." Lyons pulled a laser pistol from his pocket and ended the life of the Lyon's pride member.

The kingdom by the bay:
The bayking awoke, staring into a pair of beady black eyes. The eyes were connected to a short yellow body with a jagged tail. Bayking almost screamed.
"Pika." The animal asked inquistivaly, cocking it's head at just the right angle to send a shiver of fear down Baykings spine.
"No..No you...you don't exist."
"Oh but I do Bayking." The voice of Elder Lyons came from the pokemon. "This is what you deserve for stealing our equipment. This is your Hell for killing our men. This is your nightmare you will live forever." LBK did scream this time. Screamed so loud he woke up.

He was still on the shore of Norris island, amid the bodies of his former comrades. Instead of a pikachu's head, there was the head of assitant initate. Bayking rose to his staggering feet, but fell back down. Relazations came to him, he was trapped on an island with no way home and no military. He was dead in the water. He should have stayed at home this morning.

But something was coming over the horizion. "What the..." The bayking said, looking at a ship flying in the air. It levitated over him and bayking was honestly amazed, before it turned it's main cannons on to him and opened fire. Bayking uttered one short cry, before falling into the hole created by the bombardment. He landed roughly on the back of the ram, and was forcefully bucked off. Adventureer and villian alike turned to see him, but there attentioned was captured by the men paradropping into the cave, and the mechs preparing to fly down.

"Hell, Ultimate Bosses, and a Flying Army." Ram listed to himself.
"Should be some good fun, eh?" Ram said, smiling to the group.
He then turned back to the advancing villains, first concentrating on the Bosses. He figured they'd be easier to take down.
He charged up, and hit Sepiroth right between the eyes with a powerful ram from his mighy horns. A large, red number appeared above the one-winged man. -99999
Sepiroth crumpled with little more then a gasp.
"HA! Now THAT'S what I call a critical hit!" Ram triumphetly cried.

Maddawg was flying over the fishing port on his reaver. "Great well we chuck this moment into the never do this again pile. Lets see i lost two advisors,got knocked out, and now i must hide for the rest of my life from Chuck Norris. It's just like Mardi Gras all over again."Maddawg was not watching where he was flying and ended up flying right by the air fortress. He stopped the reaver for a second to get a look at the flying fortress. He was in awe at the size of it until he heard a male voice yelling over a loudspeaker "UNIDENTDFIEd AIRCRAFT PLEASE LEAVE OUR AIRSPACE BEFORE WE DESTORY YOU". Maddawg's face went pale before multiple rockets came flying from the base. Maddawg rushed the reaver and flew to the nearest place which ended up being the newly made hole. Maddawg looked around and saw Bob Barker laughing at the battling group. Maddawg flew by him while the rocket chased him. "HEY BOB CATCH!" Bob stopped laughing before recivieng a rocket to the face.

"How lucky. That's one less Boss for us." Ram joyfully cried.
While this was going on, the other adventurer's were making quick work of the remaining bosses and army. Spike and Lazor Cat were both shooting into the crowded soldiers, decreasing their numbers in quick bursts. The Logician was battleing Ryu Hyabusha, both trying to out-do each other in skill and might. And Ragnorak was in a battle of Ninja skills against the Praying Mantis. It looked like a hearty battle, and Ram jumped into the fray.

Deep in hell

Lyon's accompied by his pride arrive at the pedestal where the triforce of strength set. Lyons eyed it greedily before plucking it into his hand and observing it greedily.
"Sir, hate to interupt but our ground forces can't sustain this amount of loses." Lyon's shot him but knew he was right.
"Let's get an evac out of here." So Lyons left his entire army underground to die, but now he had two of the triforce he was almost complete.

Bayking snuck behind everyones back and stole the triforce during the confusion. He then caught the same evac as Lyons and landed on the airfortress.
"You!" Said elder lyons reloading his laser pistol.
"Hold fire old man." Said the bayking. "I'm here to grovel. Here." He handed over the triforce of courage.
"Well you have a use after all. You can join the Lyon's pride again and your sins again the BoS is forgiven. Because of you we our the most powerful thing in the universe."
"Actually I think you have activate them." At this comment Lyon's tosses the bayking overboard.
"Put these in the vault over in D.C. Let them come to us now."

The Praying Mantis' (would have been more epic if it was Ryu, but whatever) Mantis Style was no match for Ragnorak's Monkey Style. The extra limbs may have helped. And the fact that Raitatsu applied 2000 lbs. of extra power to each strike. He then turned his attention to the giant flying fortress. He surreptitiously put a tracking device on it's hull. Then he blew up the evac transport that was carrying the second load of soldiers back to the fortress with a well placed lightning bolt. He kept up the covering fire until the fortress was gone. Only five transports of the 15 dispatched made it back to the hangar. All of them got to the ground. "Maximizing enemy losses makes me feel like I'm evil. Not a fun feeling."

All that was left was Ryu and the group quickly surronded him. Maddawg flew out of the opening yelling see ya suckers. As the group moved closer to deal with Ryu they all turned blue.

They then heard a distant sound "WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA" Then a large yellow beast turned the corner and swallowed Ryu whole.

Stunned by its immense size, Ram quickly yelled"RUN LIKE HELL!"

But then Kirby fell out of the ceiling, also glowing blue. Kirby unwrapped his candy bar and shot lasers out of it. He then turned to the group and waved his arms up and down, making odd baby sounds.

"AHH FREAKING PINK PUFF BALL LAZZ00RRRSSS!!!!!" and lazor cat shot kirby in the face with a huge lazor.

"Sorry about that, Kirby." Ram said, muffling Lazor Cat and doeing his best to hold him down. "My friend here is just a little jumpy. Care telling us how to get out of here?"

"THERE IS NO GETTING OUT" a voice boomed and descending from the ceiling on a platform suspended by a cable: Mr.yetfun
"god fucking damn it not this joker" the ram said lowering his head.
"yes it is me" Mr.yetfun said dropping down to the ground.
"what do you want" the ram asked reluctantly.
"oh uhhhh yeah I`m here to bill you for destroying my maze" Mr.yetfun said flatly
"huh well here take this gold" a little mouse thing said rifling through the chest he was hiding in and throwing Mr.yetfun a bag of gold.
"well thanks but I kind of wanted something else your souls to be exact" Mr.yetfun asked.
"hell no" they all said in unison.
"I was`nt asking" Mr.yetfun yelled then suddenly all the green lines on his face came together into one big dot and he fired a beam hitting the ram right in the chest causing him to float in mid-air and to have his soul sucked out into Mr.yetfun`s face which he then spit out the ram`s soul and put it in a jar.
"oh and for the rest of you GET THEM" then suddenly a huge army of cyborg dinosaurs came charging out of nowhere ready for battle then in the confusion of battle Mr.yetfun raised his platform and ran off.

"Well, that's a turn for the worse." Ram woefully bleated. He looked at his lifeless body throught the glass of the jar. "Anyone mind giving me a hand?...or rather, a hoove, make that 4 hooves, a goat body, and my mighty ram horns. If anyone's got the time to do it, though. Don't want to rush you or anything." he said, violently shaking the jar.

The Logician snapped his fingers. Ramthunder got a new body, and all the dinusars got blown up. "How's that work for you?"

"meh, to simple." Ram said. "I know your all powerful and stuff, but can't we have a little fun? I mean, we could just skip the whole adventure with one snap of the finger, and go home to enjoy some tea and crumpets. DO YOU WANT THAT HAPPENING?," shouting the last sentence in horror. "Plus, with your power,s one can only imagine what you might do to us if your fancy turns...dark. So could be a little less powerful? Pwwweassse?" Ram asked, eyes wide with child-like innocence.

Meanwhile back at Nexus.Maddawg was just sitting down for a nice deserved meal.He could not focus on the meal however knowing how badley he just lost.

"That adventure was a complete waste of time. The group got the Triforce of courage and somehow the Paladins got the triforce of strength". Just then a Kentus monk walked in and kneeled before his master. "What is it Jimmy im very busy." Jimmy the Kentus held out a medallion. On the back of it were some words in latin. Maddawg spoke these words and Nexus began to shake. The roof collapsed a little and thru that small hole came a glowing artifact. Maddawg grasped the artifact which turned out to be a glowing Chainsaw lancer. MAddawg knew this weapon would be the key to victory.

With the help of his AI Catana, Master Cat managed to locate the great underground Nexus. He snuck through the entrance all the way to the great hall where Maddawg resides. He waited for Maddawg to finish his conversation with Jimmy then revealed himself.
" Maddawg! Master Cat reporting for duty. I am tired of Master Chief getting all the credit for the work I do! I will obey your every command. If you would like me to wield the Golden Lancer, I will, whatever your command. I will aid in the destruction of these so called "hereos"!"

Just then a sassy street wise robot who also happened to be a pimp walked in.

"Well Master kitty why dont you jump into a lake of fire before i kick your arse.No dont do that i'm just grumpy I've had a long day and know I have a headache. (To Jimmy)Jimmy did you have this medallion the whole time" "Grunt (translation:Yes master)" "Master kitty i think i have a job for you.

In Master Kitty's view he saw in the left corner OBJECTIVE UPDATED. Master kitty presses the start button to try and view his Objectives. The only objective not checked off was the bottom one which read KILL JIMMY!P.S. Get me the robot's Pimp cane.

"Yes sir, I will perform the deed!"
"What deed would that be?" Questioned Jimmy.

You must be terminated Jimmy for the sake of the mission, I promise to make it quick and painless as long as you don't squirm."

"Never! I am going to fight the good fight with the ram!" exclaimed Jimmy as he began to sprint to the door.

Quicker than a flash, Master Kitty pulled out his Kitty Rifle and popped Jimmy in the head. "Jimmy has been terminated sir."

"Excellent but im afraid i cannot allow you to use my Golden Lancer. What I will let you use is our weapon vault.Follow me"

Maddawg leads Master Kitty to the Locust weapon vault. "Here you will find whatever you need. I will give you one warning. When you meet the group kill the Logican first He is obviously the most powerful.

"Thank you sir, I will take a Lancer as my primary weapon, Siper Rifle as secondary and the Boltak Pistol as a side arm. I will also take frag grenades and I will be fine. Can't say I've ever wielded a gun with a chainsaw.

Lastbayking, saddened by being rejected by the greatest super villian in all the land, stumbled into the nexus, head down. He stumbled pass the bottomless hole, pass the staring eyes of grunts, and straight into the hall. He paid no heed to Master Kitty and instead, head still down and mumbled to Maddawg.
"Huh what was that?" He asked, Lancer raised.
"I said I was kicked out of Lion's Pride, again, and now that my army is dead and i'm no more than a pathetic plot element I'm here to cry your pardon?" And for a moment he thought Maddawg wouldn't notice bayking reaching for his pistol.

Wastland D.C: Lion's Pride headquaters
The pride kneeled before Elder Lions heads down in rememberance. His elite squad outfitted with the greatest equipment provided by the BoS.
"So now we have the triforce." Lions said, tasting his words like they were the sweetest wine.
"For the pride." Said the indoctrinized.
"What else have we accomplished?"
"For the pride."
"That's not exactly an answer, for thank you for your support."
"For the pride."
"No your missing the point, I asked what have was accomplished."
"For the pride." At this Lion's shot the nearest member.
"So I ask you again, what have we accomplished?"
"For the pri-----" Two more were silenced. That left 3 elite guard.
"One last time." Said the impaitent Lions, through an icy steel voice. "What HAVE we ACCOMPLISHED." Lound but not exactly biting.
"We have blasted the Bayking to hell, curse the traitor."
"Good, and now what do we do."
"Storm the nexus, end the locust, and become the only evil character left." Lions shot another member of the pride.
"Good, NOW GET!" The last two fled the scene quickly loading the airship and preparing to blast a whole straight through Jancito.